Yuhoo...!

 

This is a copy of a couple of mental emails I sent c 2005....

 

calling from deep in the forest; i'm in the wilds of dartmoor, two other cottages, no shops or pubs or car-boot-sales! still that means that i'm not spending any money, just earning. well i'll just have to spend it next week when i'm back in civilization...if you can call budleigh salterton civilization! but it's got shops and charity ones and i can go into exmouth which has nice cheap clothes and things from shops like Peacocks and Woolworths. it was beautiful the day i arrived here, real sunshine and all that but now it's just raining and raining and wet and the bloody dog keeps peeing all over the house and i'm running around in thick socks scared that i'm going to soak it all up one of these days! and the old dear/woman has a beard and really looks like a man and can she talk?! she talks even when i'm not there...but she's okay really, but i thought i was off yesterday, she took a flaky and wanted me to leave because i was a stranger and she didn't want strangers in her house telling her what she can and can't do. so i was all ready to take a little trip up to glasgow or the maldives or something but she calmed down and is alright; christ she said i was tampering with her phone and i think she suspected me of poisoning her. she said the porridge tasted funny this morning and she didn't want any more, said it was making her itch! now if i was an american i'd say, 'go figure!'

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hi there

i saw an ad in your magazine just over a week ago, not the glossy mag, the large plain paper one, not sure which day it arrives but the one i'm talking about must've been about maybe 8 days ago, thereabouts. i think a full page ad pictureing ladies brown and black sandals for £12.49. i phoned them and bought the shoes but forgot to keep the page or the name of the company. i need to contact them because the shoes have not arrived yet and i leave this address on tuesday for eastern europe. i hope you can help.

thank you for trying

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They never answered! But the sandals arrived, eventually  :-)

The End

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