(This is no new revelation)
A series of events has occurred in the past few days. Events that could have shaken the things I stand for, events that (in the past) would have plunged me back into depression or anxiety or OCD or any of my old coping mechanisms, really, but they didn't. "I can do all things through Christ, Who strengthens me" - and it's true, because Christ is the only logical explanation I have, as to why I haven't been walking around in a state of complete devastation.
In fact, the schemes that the devil tried to use in order to undermine me, well...they had quite the opposite effect of what was intended, I'm sure.
As I sat on the bed, being thrown (or rather, allowing myself to be thrown) into a state of near-panic, the strongest sense of not only peace but also contentment (there's a difference, if you stop to think about it) came over me.
I don't wear make-up (though I might occasionally dab on a little foundation or a bit of mascara), but I'm confident in my skin.
I'm a healthy weight; not "thin," really, but my weight is healthy, according to BMI charts.
I don't have a boyfriend, but I don't need one to be happy, anyways.
I'm no 4.0 GPA student, but I work hard, and I have the grades to show for it.
I'm not athletic in the least, but I have other ways of expressing myself.
I suffer from several mental illnesses, but I'm conquering them, with Christ.
Ultimately, here's the bottom line: society says I'm imperfect, but that's okay.
Before the "events" that occurred, I didn't have a whole lot of self-respect. I was still putting myself down on a regular basis. Sure, I was confident from time to time about certain aspects of myself, but as a whole, I still regarded myself as somewhat of a failure.
Not anymore. I look at myself - I look at what God has done through me - and it's like a veil has been removed from my eyes. I'm imperfect, I have problems, and I fall short of the ideal human being, but that's okay. I'm not condoning sin or anything, mind you; I'm condoning the fact that I'm not 100% intelligent. I'm not society's ideal appearance for a supermodel. But I really couldn't care less. I respect myself a lot, because of who God has made myself to be.
You will go through trials. At the end, you won't end up being perfectly strong or totally flawless, like I think I was subconsciously believing. You might get to the other side of your struggle and find yourself facing another. That's not the point of suffering. You're always going to be imperfect, and that's just the way it is. Society will never be totally satisfied with you - but we're not living to please them, anyways.
We're living to please God, and God has never required us to be skinny.