When I write about someone, I want you guys to automatically assume I'm not writing about any of you, got it? Good. :)
There's this person in my life (none of you, and not anyone in my family) who God has told me to Love. She calls me her friend, but it's easy to see that I don't mean anything to her - I'm just a nice accessory to have around, if she ever needs me. I've learned not to let her trample on me anymore, but God still wants me to Love her. In fact, He laid her on my heart, more almost anyone else - almost as much as Idina, even.
I kept wanting to give up on this friend, but God always told me to Love her and to make sure that my Love for her is as apparent as possible. It was getting frustrating, the way God kept telling me to pursue this friend.
Today, I was particularly enraged about the way this friend rejects me. I was complaining to God about how this person constantly ignores my Love. I exclaimed to God, "Why do You want me to Love her? She doesn't respond to anything I do! I know You want me to Love her, but why? Why?!"
And have you ever experienced that thing where you don't exactly hear God, but you feel His voice? Yeah, that happened. Just as soon as I finished ranting my frustrations to God, I felt Him say, "[The girl] treats you the way you treat Me."
In that instant, I knew why God wanted me to Love said friend. Yes, He wanted me to Love her because I'm supposed to show Love to everyone, but it didn't stop there. God wanted me to relentlessly pursue a friendship with this one girl because He wants to show me what I do to Him so often!
It reminded me of Hosea. You know that one tiny book in the Bible? Well, the majority of it's about a prophet named (obviously) Hosea. God tells Hosea to marry a really promiscuous woman named Gomer. So Hosea marries Gomer, and she is repeatedly unfaithful to him. The reason God wanted Hosea to marry Gomer was because He wanted it to be an allegory of how God's people kept being unfaithful to Him.
Obviously, my circumstance is way different, and the allegory isn't exactly the same. But the idea behind it is so similar to Hosea. God wanted to use my dysfunctional "friendship" with the girl so that I could see what I do to God. When I reject His Love, when I turn to Him only to get what I want, His feelings are similar to what I feel when my friend rejects me - only intensified, like, a gazillion times. There I was, complaining to God about this girl, when I've been drowning in depression all day - and not doing a thing about it!!
I am utterly amazed at the way God revealed His Love to me today.
Warrior, what about you? Is there someone in your life who doesn't seem to accept your Love? Think about it - isn't that what we do to God?
Please, do yourself a favor: read Hosea. The whole thing. In one sitting. And don't skim it - let it really sink in. Open your heart to the way God relentlessly pursues you. Talk to Him, really talk to Him, tonight.
You are always on His Heart, anyways.