Well. Yesterday. Hah. Umm..
It went well. It started out by hanging out with a group of friends (around whom I actually allowed myself to be a bit more open than usual - yippy skippy! :D ). After that...yeah. Wow. Time to share my testimony with those kids.
I got there. I almost drove away again (you'd think I'd have learned my lesson from last time, eh?). When the time came for the Bible lesson, I had a friend open with prayer (praying in front of others is something I still can't - or rather, won't - bring myself to do. I probably could if I tried, but...). Then, I got up and wrung my hands in front of all them for a moment, as nervous as...as...something that's really, really nervous (can't come up with a proper simile over here). I started out. And after a couple minutes, I ended. I didn't sit back down with them when I was finished. I walked right out to the bathroom, where I planned on hanging out for a few minutes and confronting any attacks from the devil. I've learned he often attacks when you finish doing something God wants you to do.
On my way to the bathroom, a boy who had a reputation for never taking anything seriously (and by that, I mean he was always getting in trouble for goofing off) stopped me, looked me in the eyes (which he also doesn't seem to do very often) and said in a serious tone, "That was really good." He was silent for awhile before joining the other kids.
Several people came up and talked to me later. And a fellow senior who I hadn't really talked much with before then talked and laughed with me for awhile.
And it occurred to me. People aren't treating me the way I'd expected. In fact, by being real, I think I actually improved my relationship with my classmates! It was so crazy. But in a good way.
Let me tell you...it wasn't easy. For a long time after the Bible lesson, I beat myself up over being so real with everyone. The devil kept trying to tell me that I'd failed, that everyone would hate me, that the entire thing was pointless. But I fought against his lies...and came out victorious.
After that, I ended up having a brief but meaningful heart-to-heart with one of my friends (you know who you are ♥) before driving home, where almost all my favorite songs played in the car. Either that, or I was in a particularly sentimental mood and thought that every song on the radio was meant for me. I think the latter is more likely. :)
Today, for the first time in a month, I'm doing well. I really, really am doing well. Really early this morning, I wrote out a bunch of my favorite Bible verses. Later, I got up early (9:00...well, it's early for me!!!) and listened to some favorite songs, laughed in delight at the cute little ways that God romances me, and almost cried over a stupid, sappy, and totally pointless romance novel. :D Side note: I'm a hopeless romantic and am no longer trying to disguise that. :D
Yesterday and today were days of triumph for me. Yesterday was hard (okay, it was next to impossible), but guess what! God and me, we came out on top (Yes, it's supposed to be "God and me," not "God and I"). And today, I'm reaping the rewards of doing what He asked of me.
So...I have to work in a couple hours, but I'm going to take the remaining time and do some things I enjoy. I'm going to eat chocolate. I'm going to dance around. I'm going to write in my prayer journal. I'm going to Love God.