Well, apparently, aligning something in the middle isn't an option anymore. Oh, bother. Oh, well. :)
So...I just got finished arguing with God.
See, He wants me to share a very brief version of my testimony tomorrow. I don't (surprise, surprise). In fact, I don't want to share my story, to the point of wanting to call in sick or something.
Tomorrow's the last weekend of getting together with the inner city kids and hanging out with them. And I'm serious...as much as I want to follow God, I really don't want to share my testimony. The thought alone is making my heart anxious.
There are several reasons why I don't want to share my testimony, even a two-minute version of it.
1. Even though I probably won't see most of the kids after tomorrow, I'll be in school with all the other seniors for the rest of highschool (and will probably keep in touch with lots of them even after that). They'll know me. Me. The unpretty version of me that I try so hard to keep under wraps.
2. If I share my testimony, there's a high chance I'll cry. I don't even need to get into why I'd hate that.
3. I feel so unqualified to talk about God in the first place (which I've already explained in a previous entry). Yes, I know I'm supposed to be getting over that fear, but I can't get over it overnight. So not only will I be talking about God, but I'll be talking about my relationship with Him...terrifying. Enough said.
4. ...no, there's not a fourth reason. I just wanted to make my side of the argument look more legitimate. :P
But...God won the argument. I'm going to share my testimony, whether I want to or not. He will supply me with the strength I need. If I cry, so be it. Tears aren't a weakness. They are a blessing.
Tomorrow, as I let His Strength to be my sustenance, join me. Please, join me. Do the thing you know He wants you to do - whether it's sharing your testimony, loving the "unlovable," fighting against the lies, or even daring to talk to Him. Do it, for my sake. I don't want to be the only one being a brave warrior. I don't want to be the only one fighting.
And something within me smiles as I write this. Because I know you, and I know I won't be the only one fighting tomorrow.