Okay, so maybe I'll have to write two chapters about yesterday's events before I get around to the call to courage.
Right before I put the car in drive to escape seeing people, GAH! So many people - so many random people! - started checking in on me!
First was my mom. I'd called her and sobbed to her about how I didn't want to go to the service project, but she called back and told me that even though staying to tell the kids about God wouldn't be the easier choice, she thought it was the healthier choice. She actually called twice, I think. Then, my therapist called (he'd called my mom about family therapy) to let me know how the conversation with my mom went and to encourage me to stay at the service project. Then, one of the seniors' moms who'd brought the food came to my car door and gave me a hug and asked how I was doing. Then, another senior's mom whose house we were at came and checked up on me. Then, a senior came and gave me a hug and encouraged me to stay. Keep in mind that my face was still red and puffy, and there were still tears running down my cheeks. Anyways. It was amazing that they saw me in my car, because I'd parked a ways away from everyone. But it still wasn't enough.
I put the car in drive, intending to escape my fear. But the car wouldn't start. The freakin' car wouldn't start!
I had to have some people use jumper cables (or whatever they're called, hah) to restart my engine (the battery had randomly decided to die - or was it God? :) ), which meant that they found out that I'd been about to leave. Oops. After they started my car, I knew I owed it to them to stay.
And as I got out of the car to approach the place where the service project was, I felt God tell me, I have you here for a reason.