Dear Warrior {08-07-12}

Dear Warrior...

I have had a very weird yesterday and today, if you'll pardon the awkward phrasing. I say "weird" because it's been the strangest mix of bad and good and downright, amusingly bizarre. You'll see what I mean.

I'll start with the bad and save the "downright, amusingly bizarre" for last, because honestly, I'm still in a state of shocked hilarity about it!

Bad: I suggested to my parents the idea of family therapy. I'll spare you the details (I say that a lot, don't I? Hmmm...), but basically, there are some emotional issues that I believe ought to be addressed. Now, my parents are walking around in a state of disbelief and guilt. I should never have mentioned family therapy. Gahhh. This, of course, led to lots of guilt, self-condemnation, and an unpredicted onslaught of perfectionistic thinking and, shamefully enough, sometimes doing. More on that later. Another bad thing was that I was planning on seeing a darling of mine earlier this morning, but that fell through, and I sort of wallowed in self-pity for awhile before realizing how utterly selfish I was being. That's always an annoying thing to realize, isn't it? ;)

Good: As mentioned before, I saw a dear friend yesterday and *much fanfare* WAS VULNERABLE! God and Cass for the win. :D It was absolutely beautiful, but I've already written about it, so there. Last night, I also Skyped a dear friend of mine, and we discussed our feelings and recent happenings and listened to all sorts of lovely songs together. THEN, as if that wasn't lovely enough, I got to talk to another good friend on the phone today! It was so wonderful. I have such snappin' good friends.

Okay, here's the downright, amusingly bizarre thing. I was chatting with a friend recently, and not only did she blame me for making her feel fat (and I never bring up her weight, ever!), she also told me that I couldn't let her so much as think about self-harm! I seriously didn't know whether to laugh or yell or run away or what! But the amazing thing is, instead of feeling responsible for my friend like I used to, I told her flat-out that I couldn't accept the blame and kept nagging her to give me a legitimate reason as to why I make her feel fat. That's what I mean by downright, amusingly bizarre. I'm still wondering how the conversation could have even been possible!

Now that I've sort of given you a background of what's been going on recently, I'll tell you about what the point of all this is. I just...have to eat dinner first. :)

The End

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