Dear Warrior {07-30-12}

Dear Warrior...

Honesty. I'm workin' on it. For someone who tries so hard to be a good Christian, you'd think I'd be less of a compulsive liar.

Today, I have a therapy appointment. I'm tempted to lie and say that the past week has been beautiful, that I haven't done penance, that I've been open with my feelings, that I haven't let people use me as a human doormat.

{Run-on sentence alert} But how can I say I'm fine, when just last weekend, I wouldn't let any of my friends help me carry my suitcases because I'm such a bad person and don't deserve any help, not even help with carrying suitcases?

Baaaaarf.

I have made absolutely no progress since last week's appointment, which is why I want to lie to my therapist today. I mean, my other two therapists never caught onto the bucketload of lies I told them consistently. Something tells me my current therapist won't buy into any lies, but still...it's worth a try, right?

If I can fool most of my closest friends, if I can fool my family, if I can fool myself...surely this says something about my ability to lie, and to lie well.

The thing is...Christians aren't supposed to lie.

So...after all that, I think I'll be honest today. And when I see my friends this week, I'll be honest with them, too. And if my family asks me what's wrong, then...I'll be honest. And...I'll stop telling myself that I'm snappin' fine.

Because I'm not snappin' fine.

Warrior...sometimes, it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to tell the truth when you're not doing so well. And in the same way, when you are doing well, it's okay to say so, even if everyone around you isn't.

Honesty. I'm workin' on it. It's worth workin' for.

The End

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