Truth is, I haven't been doing so well today.
Awhile ago, I shared one of the deepest parts of my heart with someone. I allowed myself to be vulnerable, even though it was the absolute last thing I felt like doing. But she responded well.
Today, I decided subconsciously that because I was vulnerable with said person, she doesn't like me anymore. I found myself distancing myself from friendships when I realized what I was doing: I was retreating back into my old stronghold of turning off my emotions. And helpful as it seems to be, it's not good.
I am called to be vulnerable. I am not called to be a brick wall. Vulnerability hurts - numbness doesn't. But I'm learning that often (though not always, admittedly), the most beautiful things can come with the greatest pain. So I'm not going to build up walls, though I feel like it.
If I break down, I break down. But numbness destroyed me in the past. I won't let it have the upper hand again.
Please, warrior, don't let it have the upper hand with you. As long as you allow His Grace to flood your soul, you'll make it through...I promise.