Lies I Used to Believe

Lies I Used to Believe

On March 1st, 2012, I wrote down all the lies I believed. There is a point to this, I's coming in the next chapter.

"Here are things I believe about God and myself:
- God doesn't love me as much as He loves other people
- I am the only one in the world who must earn salvation
- If I miss reading the Bible or praying for one day, God will give up on me/ condemn me
- So if I do miss reading the Bible or praying, then I don't deserve to talk to God
- There is no use trying to talk to God because He doesn't like me much, anyways
- If I feel spiritual peace, it's just a coincidence, and it'll go away because I could never have real spiritual peace
- I am the only one who feels this way
- I'm just an inconvenience to God
- I must do arbitrary things a certain number of times so I can have control, because if I have control, then I'm strong enough to earn God's grace (one of the most influential thoughts of this list)
- I ought to punish myself/ do penance if I do something wrong
- But if I do punish myself, I'm sinning, so God won't like that, either (so ultimately, there's no remedy for sin)
- If I don't feel saved, then I'm not
- I must bear this burden alone
- God is tired of my failures
- I'd be more valuable to God if I had a dramatic testimony
- God can forgive anyone but me
- God doesn't care about my prayers
- Even though there's no major sin in my life, I'm still far too bad for redemption (this is definitely the biggest one on the list)
- I don't deserve counseling because nothing will change, anyways
- It's hopeless, God will never love me, and I will never be good enough, so I might as well give up
- Sometimes I feel like it would be better to give up and know for sure that I'm going to hell than to constantly stress over it all the time (I only think this when I'm most anxious)
- And lastly, I have no right to tell you this because it's my responsibility to bear it all alone."

But hang in there, because Redemption is coming...

The End

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