Just something I needed to get off my chest I guess.
I miss you.
I miss how we used to stay up until three in the morning talking about nothing in particular.
I miss how you used to come round my house just to give me a hug when I was upset.
I miss driving around singing at the top of our voices.
I miss knowing that you were there when I needed you.
I miss my friend.
I need you right now. There’s so much I need to talk about but there’s no one I feel I can talk to.
This is when I’d text you, and let you know what was wrong, and you would say some stupid comment and make me feel better. And I’d smile even though I didn’t think I could.
I found something the other day, that I wasn’t meant to. And now I’m worried. I’m so worried and I have no one to tell. I’m scared. But who can I tell? No one. The people I want to tell are busy, and they have their own lives and they're moving forward. Which is fair enough, I can’t be mad at them for that.
But I just feel lonely.
And I don’t know what I’m doing or where I want to go. Or anything. Everything I felt sure of this time last year has gone. I don’t know. I just need to talk to you I guess.
Even though I can’t. You’ve moved on. And I have to live with that. It’s probably for the best anyway. Because you weren’t always nice. You could make me feel so bad about myself without even knowing it. You didn’t mean to, it was just you. And I hated you for it sometimes. Most of the time it was as if you couldn’t care less, that I was just simply there, something to help you pass the time. A friend for your boredom and not you. But then you’d turn around and say all these nice and wonderful things and that you would be there forever, always my friend.
Things change I guess.
I just miss you.