Dear S.Mature

Letters to ex girlfriends I never plan on sending.

So you have someone new. Good for you. I guess the whole 'I'll always love you' line was just an act.  I should have known.  I'm a big boy and shouldn't be prone to con people.

In the beginning you tried to appeal to the writer in me. I suppose you're experienced at finding what makes people tick by now, having been single for so long. I, however, had been married for almost 15 years and wasn't really expecting someone like you.  You noticed that I like to write and so you gave me a notebook. That was a beautiful present. I really thought that I had found someone who finally understood me. Agreed, I was in a rather tender phase of my life at the time, and I would have been happy to have seen *any* signs of interest.

You showed me those signs. I always found it odd that you never took the time to read my blog - but the happiness of having found someone who finally understood me must have suppressed that thought.

You went to the States. You had this planned long before I met you. I missed you. I wrote you a story every day you were gone. Well, until I realized that you weren't taking the time to read what I had written. It hurt when you told be that you didn't "have the time to read what I had written". I stopped writing shortly after that. 

During our relationship I became less of a writer and more of a "Hey, can you do XX"er. I wasn't always there to do XX. You reminded me of this often. I have three kids that also require my attention and I couldn't always be there to take out your trash.

I broke up. Yes, it was my call that separated us. You wanted someone to bring home groceries,  to build a bed how you wanted it, to take care of the children while you corrected papers. There is nothing wrong with wanting these things, but you didn't want me.

I want someone who wants me. I told you this from the start. I told you how I wanted to be seen, and you used that to entice me. You never wanted me. You wanted someone to lessen your workload.

I hope you have what you want now. Even though I saw through your plan, I can't help but feel sorrow for the way things worked out. You seemed so real.

I'm afraid that I can't, in good conscious, wish you well.  You deceived, insulted, and hurt me. In good conscious I can tell you to fuck off. You approached me when I was vulnerable and I folded to your will. That was an evil thing for you to do.

I suppose you're used to it by now, though.

The End

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