12/1/10Mature

Fuck you, all of you.

Everyone who calls me a kid.

I'm thirteen. Will I be more mature in nine months, when I'm fourteen? Probably not. Because I'm already mature. It's not like I type as if my keyboard is half-broken. It's not like I'm ignorant.

Oh, but who cares what I say?

I'm just a kid.

-

You. I want you to hold me. Look into my eyes; wrap your arms around me. I will hug back. I will trust you. I will allow you to be mine. I will be yours.

If only you could see me the way I see you. You didn't look back once today; I couldn't keep my eyes off you.

Oh, I'm just a seventh grader. I'm sorry about our age difference, but I can't help but like you. No, it's just because of your looks. They're an added bonus.

I like you because you're cute, funny, and weird. You're weird, in a good way, the way I am weird. And I guess you're shy, a little bit. You seem like you have a lot of secrets. But I never get to fucking see you. I will probably never be your friend. Never be anything more than that girl two grades below you.

Fuck this, I want you. Just to hug me. More than anything in the world, I want you to hug me. To tell me, "I've actually liked you for a long time..." I would cry if you said that. I would start crying and just hug you. I want to hear you say "I love you." Hell, I just want to hear you say hello. I never get to fucking see you. Monday mornings and Wednesday nights are the only things I look forward to. I get to see you, for longer than just a second in the hallway. Besides, you have all your classes upstairs. I am just a small seventh grader, hopelessly attracted to a freshman boy. And he will never see me as anything but that. And I want to cut myself some more. And I'm about to cry. God, why can't you just see? This would be easier on me if you had Facebook or a cellphone. What freshman doesn't have a cell phone? You, apparently... Ugh. Why does high school suck so bad. I'd rather be back in the other school, in middle school. Not in the high school, I don't like it.

Why can't you fucking notice me. I'm crying.

The End

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