Stockholm Syndrome..Mature

Well, it's official. I've been diagnosed as super crazy. But in layman's terms it's PTSD, Complex PTSD,major depressive disorder and extreme anxiety. Can you believe that? TWO different types of PTSD! well, let me go over the diff for you diary. PTSD: this is caused by one specific event.( the event i will never say. the one we decided to work up to talking about.). Complex PTSD: this is when a person is exposed to constant fear,stress,abuse,etc. Examples include prisoners,kidnap victims, abused wives, and apperantly moms of autistic kids.So, now i've self diagnosed myself with stockholm syndrome. he has killed any sense of hope i might have possessed and still i love him and couldn't live without him. Man, I throw a hell of a pity party! I do feel better knowing that I'm not just going susan smith crazy. i have never thought of hurting the kids. just me. and every day i wake up angry and dissappointed. like, why didn't i just die in my sleep? that way, everyone will remember me the way i was before i lost my mind. i just need to hang on a little longer.

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