Scrolling through Tumblr, and this blue banner pops up 'What would you do if you weren't afraid?'... I started thinking. I would do so much stuff, if only I weren't afraid. So I'm going to make a list, and just see how this plays out.
The first thing I would do if I weren't afraid is pack a bag, and get the fuck out of here. I would take my phone, but probably dump it along the way. I'd have no attachments, nothing to come back for, no fear. I'd just walk until I found someone who was fun to be with, and who understood me, but that I could leave at any time, because I'm not scared of being alone. I'd sleep around to earn money until I got a job, some small-town bar work, laughing with punters and serving them poison.
Once I get enough money I'd move to Cornwall, where I'd pitch a tent by the beach, and live off the land. I'd be pretty, and thin. Because death wouldn't scare me any more, and neither would hospitalisation. People would see me walk through the streets and comment on how 'fairy-like' I look, how I dance with every step, in my ballet pumps and ankle-length cotton skirt. Ankle bracelets jingling as I sing, spreading happiness, like a princess.
I'd ride horses that I didn't own, I'd take care of all animals and live on only on things that you can grow. I'd still pop a sweet little E from time to time, that's just part of my personality. I'd swim in the sea in the middle of the night and stay there until morning, because I would not be afraid of cold. Animals would love me and know instantly that I am their friend, I wouldn't hurt them.
I'd care for people and if they didn't respond then I would keep caring until they needed me. I'd volunteer for charity work, and openly help people, I'd commit. I'd grow older and wiser but still keep my routine, then eventually, when I was ready, I would teach children to be free, like me. I'd teach them to not be afraid to be who they want to be, not their parents, teachers or peers. I'd ask them to imagine themselves in 10 years, where they want to be, and ask them what things they would need to achieve to get there. I would then ask them, to continue my love for life, and achieve those goals before it was too late.
Once I die, people would talk of me, as the Princess of Cornwall. The Princess. The countries Princess.
They'd say I was happy.