i want to believe
quite possibly, the worst feeling is hopelessness.
i have struggled for a long time with the lie that things will never change.
that i will never change.
that i'm stuck in this mess for all the days of my life.
i hate the feeling of doubts, especially when i want to believe.
God help me, i want to believe!
but the lies...they're so strong...
how can i trust that which i cannot feel?
how can i go against my instincts?
i want to believe, but can i really?