i wanted to self-harmMature

i wanted to self-harm

i wanted to self-harm.
but i didn't.
instead, i wrote all over my arms.
my frustrations. and a reminder that redemption remains. 
i wanted to self-harm.
but i didn't.
i thought about how wonderful it would be to see blood on my arms...
but it wouldn't have been.
i thought about how much i wanted to scratch til my skin tore...
but it would have only made matters worse.
i wanted to yank out my hair...
but my hair's too long. people even say it's pretty.
what would be the use of ruining that?
i even thought about taking the pen and digging into my skin.
but instead, i used the pen to write on my arms.
today, my friends asked me about the writing.
i told them straight out:
"i felt like harming something, so i scribbled all over my arms."
i don't think they understood...
but today, i wanted to self-harm.
i didn't. 

The End

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