could there ever be hope?Mature

...my thoughts of the day...

this is like some awkward mixture of poetry and prose, but i felt like writing something like this.

could there ever be hope?

it's hard to get up in the morning, but i have to.
well, it's time to put on the happy mask. time to be strong.
i hate getting up.
what to wear? i don't feel like bright colors.
i hate getting up.
time for chemistry. i hate chemistry. makes me feel like a failure.
i haven't felt like eating lately. i guess i'll cram a yogurt down my throat. 
i don't feel like doing anything...
well, that was a fail. i'll probably get a d on my chemistry test.
i have to be perfect at everything; otherwise, i'm a failure at everything.
...i just want to go back to bed.
i hate getting up.
lunchtime. yippee. time to eat. again. i have no appetite anymore.
school's done. i probably failed everything.
my family keeps asking me what's wrong. honestly, i don't know.
i don't know anything anymore.
i feel worthless and hopeless.
i'm a burden to everyone.
people just put up with me. they don't really like being around me.
i hate getting gifts. i don't deserve them.
i hate getting paid for work. they're probably doing it out of pity.
i hate being a charity case.
i have no writing inspiration anymore.
i have no interest in the things that i used to enjoy.
yay! time for bed. for the first time all day, i'm actually excited.
time for sleep...
~~~~~~
time to get up.
i hate getting up. 

The End

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