Alexandria ParkerMature

This is just thoughts of a character I'm creating. These are not my actual thoughts, so don't freak out. It's just for the character. Promise. :)

I have so many problems. I let someone convince me to do so many things I know I shouldn't have. Drugs. Drinking. Sex. How could I let him control me like that. He was so sweet at the beginning. He used to call me beautiful, told me he loved me, told me some many wonderful things...so many things that made me want to love him back. Then he changed, I only got praise when I did want he wanted and then I never got it. I did so many that I didn't want to do to please him. I lied to my family and friends. I shut them all out to please him. I finally realized what a fucked up situation I was in, but I stayed in it. I actually made it longer than it would have been. He tried to end it because he regretted what he did to me, but I begged him to stay. I couldn't let him go. I was desperate for him. I felt as if I couldn't live without him. I was free from him, but I wouldn't let him go. I made him stay and he still treated me the same as before. Insult after insult. Being forced into things. Then everything got even worse. I broke down. I tried talking to the wrong person, the person I thought was my best friend. Before I knew it, everyone at school knew. The mocked me, called me names, and stared at me like I was a piece of trash. My used-to-be best friend was the worst. She pointed me out and told everyone around what I had done and every mistake I had made. She hurt me more than he did. She made me want to give up. She made me want to kill myself. I couldn't handle it anymore. Everyday was the same thing and what made it worse was that he ignored me. He denied he was ever with me. That hurt me so much. My suicidal thoughts became more consistent. They occurred constantly. It ended up being all I thought about. It's what I'm thinking about now. I want my life to end. I don't want to live this life anymore. I give up. I'm done. I'm taking my life. 

The End

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