This is a soap opera based on Harry Potter.
Woeful Wizards Chamber of Secrets Episode One
Harry is sitting in his bedroom, writing in a diary. It appears to be night.
Harry: (voiceover accompanied with dramatic music) It is day 73 of my entrapment. As I lie here at night, cold and afraid, I can only just remember that tragic day, day number (long dramatic pause) one.
Flashback to Vernon Dursley from Harry's view
Vernon: Just don't perform magic in front of people and don't tell them that you're a wizard.
Harry: (offscreen, yelling) YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHY CAN'T YOU LET ME BE MYSELF.
Back to Harry in his room.
Harry: (still voiceover) Ever since I put up that banner, "I am a wizard", on my window, I've had a bars attached to it so I cannot leave this hellhole. Uncle Vernon says if I just don't do put the banner up but I cannot, swivel, will not let him restrict my freedom like that. I still can’t get what Dobby told me out of my head though, “Harry Potter mustn’t go back to Hogwarts.” But it’s like the song. I have to.
Ron and the twins appear outside Harry's window. Happy music.
Ron: (s) Harry!
Harry looks around, puzzled.
Ron: (s and yelling) HARRY!
George: (s) He can’t hear you.
Fred: (touches window and looks up, horrified) The glass’s bullet… and sound proof too.
Ron: (s) My best friend… trapped (s) FOREVER.
George: Or we could just open the window.
Fred opens the window.
Ron: (s) But the bars…
Fred: Are made of (s) play-dough.
Dramatic music. Fred and George take off bars
Ron: (s) I’m finally going to be reunited with my best friend!
Harry: (s) Did I just hear a (s) swivel? Ron, is that you?
Ron: (s) Harry!
Harry: (s) Ron!
They rush into each other’s arms, holding each other tightly. Soppy music plays. Harry and Ron both breathe deeply, inhaling each other’s scent.
Harry: (slightly muffled by Ron’s jumper) You smell good.
George: (s) I hear footsteps approaching.
Fred: (s) On our privacy they do be encroaching.
Fred and George leave
Harry: I’ll starting packing then?
Ron: Don’t let go just yet.
Malfoy and the gang are all on the bedroom floor, obviously at a sleepover.
Malfoy: (s) So, Goyle, truth… or dare?
Goyle: Uh… dare
Malfoy: I dare you to kiss…
Crabbe looks hopeful
Malfoy: … Dobby.
Everyone looks disgusted. Dramatic music.
Harry, Ron and the twins are in a car, with some “clouds” at the window.
Harry: I can’t believe we’re flying!
George: Our father did create this wondrous flying car.
Fred: But it can’t go very far.
Harry: (s) Of course.
Harry eats the sandwich without breaking eye contact with Ron.
George: We have arrived in our house
Fred: Now we must be as quiet as a mouse.
Molly: (off-screen) EEEEUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG
Ron: (s) Oh dear.
At Malfoy’s sleepover.
Goyle: So (s), Crabbe, truth… or dare?
Crabbe: Uh… truth.
Goyle: Do you ever fancy (s) Hermione Granger?
Crabbe: (s) What? A girl? Eww…
Malfoy: Yeah, mudbloods are gross.
Crabbe: Yeah… mudbloods.
At the Burrow. Molly is red in the face and inhaling an exhaling deeply. Harry, Ron and the twins are
Molly: Don’t (breath) ever (breath) do (breath) that (breath) again.
Fred: Our poor sweet old mother.
George: We’re sorry we’re such a bother.
Fred & George: NOT.
The twins rush off stage.
Molly: Oh, and welcome Harry. Now, (glowers slightly) eat.
Harry: (s) But I couldn’t possibly…
Molly: (looking like the mistress of Satan) EAT.
Harry sits down at table. Ginny, looking like a bag lady, enters.
Ron:(s) Ginny! I’d like you to meet (s towards Harry) Harry Potter.
Ginny freezes. Harry wiggles his eyebrows.
Harry: (s) Enchanté.
Harry kisses Ginny’s hand. Ginny stays still for a moment, and then bolts out of the kitchen.
Ron: Sorry, my sister’s not usually this (s) shy.
Harry: (s) I forgive you.
Ron: (s) Apology accepted.
Harry and Ron stare intensely into each other’s eyes.
At King’s Cross Station. Harry and the Weasley’s are just outside the barrier.
Molly: We’ll just leave you guys unsupervised again, okay?
The Weasley’s disappear.
Ron: (s) Shall we hold hands?
Harry: (s) I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Harry and Ron step forward and then look puzzled.
Ron: (s) The barrier…
Harry: (s) … it’s blocked
Harry and Ron both fall to their knees and start sobbing. Dramatic music.
In Hogwarts Express compartment. Hermione is sitting by herself, reading. Malfoy and gang enter.
Malfoy: (s) I thought I smelt something.
Hermione: (s) Go away, Malfoy.
Malfoy: (quietly to Hermione) Now we both know you don’t want that.
Neville enters smoking.
Goyle: (s) Come to tell us to shove off, Longbottom?
Crabbe: (s) Have it your way then. Come on, Draco.
Malfoy: But… yeah, let’s leave. (s) I wouldn’t be seen dead with Granger anyway.
Malfoy and the gang leave
Hermione: (s) What do you want?
Harry and Ron are both on the floor at King’s Cross Station, bawling their eyes out.
Ron: (standing up and s) Hey, I have an idea!
Harry: (stands up and enthusiastic s) What?
Ron: We should use (s) the flying car.
Harry: (Gasps) That’s a great idea! (s) Let’s go!
Sign pops up “brief interlude”. Harry and Ron are sitting in the car, “flying”
Harry: (s) We forgot to feed each other food!
Harry: (s) That thing that we do
Ron: Harry, (s) we did that already. Remember, the sandwich? (Pause) Harry, (s) are you feeling okay?
Harry: (s) I always feel okay when I’m with you.
Harry and Ron stare deeply into each other’s eyes. Soppy music.
At the Gryffindor’s table. Hermione, Ginny and Neville, still smoking, are all eating the Great Feast (is it Grand? Damn I’ve forgotten)
Hermione: (s) Where’s Ron?
Ginny: (mumbles)… Harry.
Malfoy and the gang enter
Malfoy: (s) Looking for me, sweetheart?
Hermione: (s and yells) GET LOST MALFOY.
Hermione throws something at Malfoy.
Malfoy: (s) You’ll pay for this, Granger.
Malfoy and the gang leave.
Harry and Ron strut in.
Harry: (s) Don’t worry Neville. (s) I’m here to protect you.
Ron: (puts hands on hips and s) And I also.
Hermione gets up and runs to hug both Harry and Ron.
Harry: (s) I missed you, Hermione.
Hermione: (s) And I missed you too, Harry. You too (s) Ron.
Ron: (s) Really?
Hermione and Ron stare into each other’s eyes. Harry picks up some food and starts eating.
Harry: This is good.
Dumbledore struts in.
Dumbledore: Everyone, (s) take your seats.
Dumbledore: Okay, so, (hair toss) I know everyone is real excited for the new school year.
All: SCHOOL! YEAH!
Dumbledore: Awesome. But I must warn you (s), something wicked this way comes.
Thunder and lightning.
END OF EPISODE ONE