A question ( or an answer ) about The Meaning.
What a crazy person I am,....
I would like sometimes to take off my skin like a rubber mask. It would be like getting out of myself and being free of choosing whatever I want to be. I imagine it being so worthy of all the suffering I feel or I cause. But, no, I'm not getting away from it. I'm not flying from myself neather killing myself as a solution. Once again, I gotta find a way back to a self-sufficiency. I'm turning around an endless hole and I'm totally depending on the same routines, repeating the same mistakes ever and ever. That has to stop!
There was a time when I asked Life to give me what a trully needed, it actually gave me the experience I needed to live. Now, I'm just fed up. In my head there is a huge traffic of chaotic ideas misplaced and noisy. My emotions are rollercoastin' with them and that's not funny at all. I'm a victim of my own hypersensitivity, that sounds pathetic. I've got trouble finding the right path into all of these informations, and now, I think I can just ask Life to give me cleanliness so I can see through me, or at least, life has to show me a way that is more pure. Where does my happiness sleeps at this moment?
Today, I'm going to be talking to my local society. I've got a great deal of conflict with it and I have to fight it again today. I don't understand much about people, and even if I start to take some notes about them, I'm not even sure I'll still be interested in fighting it. I feel them so far away from what I am. I gotta have to somewhat put myself into a certain level of generalty, learn to improvise with it because I don't have much time. But I have no fun at all, it's such a stress to me. I clearly need more time to concentrate to be and to look in control... and I'm starting to think I must drink before.