The Book "A Discovery of Witches"

Not the plot (if you can call it that). Not the characters (who barely deserve to be written about). Not the setting (which is mentioned too much). Just the whole damn book in general.

So it's about a world where there are humans, vampires, demons and witches. 

So, first rule created: humans do not know about the latter three beings.

Second rule created: inter-being relationships are forbidden. The sort of forbidden that means nobody does it ever because how could they even think of such a thing!?

Got it? Simple, right?

Well, let's wait for the rule breaking and tell you about the plot. Diana, who's a completely pathetic stupid witch, is in a library in Cambridge, with this enchanted book. Interesting so far. Y'know, she can't open the book, who knows why? sort of thing.

And  then the author ruins it. First Diana DOESN'T use her magic because she doesn't want it to interfere in her work.

Then Diana DOES use her magic to open the book, which directly interferes with her work. Then she goes back to not using her magic. (It's set in Cambridge, by the way).

Then we find out that Diana CAN'T use her magic as she doesn't know how.

However, Diana DOES use her magic, but without realising.

Then it's back to Diana CAN'T use her magic, but this time it's because she was spellbound at a young age (which means under no circumstances can she use her magic. At all. Ever). (Did you know it's set in Cambridge?)

But then Diana CAN use her magic and DOES (this links in with her not knowing - she works out how). 

Then Diana DOESN'T use her magic because she doesn't want to.

Then Diana CAN'T again because she doesn't need to.

Then Diana CAN use her magic - but only when she needs to.

I mean, talk about breaking your own canon! Jeez, woman, stick to one plot line, will you? Did I mention that it's set in Cambridge?

So along comes Matthew, an annoying way-too-perfect vampire. Enter the breaking of rule two. They fall in love. WHAT A PLOT TWIST *GASP* SHOCK HORROR! No. Just no. First of all, it was predictable. Second of all, if you make it a rule, don't flaiming break it! (It's set in France now.)

And, plus, also, there are a lot - and I mean A LOT - of far too descriptive... adult scenes between Diana and Matthew. (Still in France, by the way).

Cue the breaking of rule numero uno! Humans do know about the other three beings! Yay! And how do we know this? Because Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein and all those other people who made the discoveries which create science today DISCUSSED IT WITH MATTHEW! That's right! Matthew has been alive that long that he was around when those guys were! And he just happened to know them, too! Isn't that a COINCIDENCE? And what's more? Matthew has built TWO WHOLE MANSIONS! Oh, someone kill me now. (Just in case you forgot, we're now in France).

Off to America! And then, and this is what annoys me the most, THEN in the last few chapters, the author creates the potential for a whole load of interesting stuff to happen - in America - (which she should have written about instead of what she did write about), and ends it on a cliffhanger where that stuff is about to happen! RRRGH! (They're in America when it finishes).

That's not even the half of it, but there's way to much to put on here.

The quote on the back said "If you like Twilight, you'll love this!" That probably should've been warning enough for me not to read it.

The End

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