Blackout Drunk Shenanigans

A story of a drunken young man, his trusty two story funnel(beer bong), and his blackout hike through the forests and wildlife of Maine.

It started off as your usual weekend trip, pregaming with some brews on the 4 hr ride up to Norhthern Maine.  We arrive very late to Bills house with 12 empties at my feet, and an ice cold keg waiting inside.  The 30 foot funnel is instantly dropped down from the roof to see who can hit the most beers.  With two of us getting 5 down with a little difficulty, we decide to call it a tie and continue with the nights shenanigans.  Hours later with the kegs kicked and the bladders flowing everyone prepares for bed.  Bill being the great host he is, checks to make sure everyone is set for the night when he notices        I(Jeff) is nowhere to be found.  Everyone agrees I must of gone outside to relieve myself.  15 minutes later, i'm still nowhere to be found and the search begins.  After a long search they decide, to call of the search and wait for the morning sun to help with the search.  After rising early and searching all day, they send the girls off to get some pzza while they figure out where the hell I went.  Being maine, the closest pizza shop is 30 miles away, the girls are over 15 miles away, when they drive past a ragged young man, with dirty torn clothes hangin onto his athletic frame.  They drive past the guy when finally see his face and realize, holy crap, its Jeff.  The last thing I remember before the blackout is me running towards the woods for reasons unknown.  Next thing I know I'm walking through forest  the following morning, with my shirt on inside out and backwards, with tears and cuts all over my clothes and body.  After hours I finally see a house, though it was more of a shack in the middle of the forest.  As I get closer to the house, a creepy looking gentleman comes walking around the corner with his hunting rifle.  I ask him if he by any chance knows where Bills Farm is.  He doesn't say a word, just shakes his head in disgust and points me to a dirt road which finally takes me to a main street.  I follow this street not knowing where I'm going, just hoping to come across somewhere that could direct me to a bus station of some sort where I could bargain my way back to boston.  16 hours after i was first noticed missing, I finally come riding back into Bills yard where he explains wat kind of danger I could of been in all night.  With the forest filled with cougars, canadian lynx, bobcats, moose, coyotes, and bears oh my.  Relieved to be home and eating and drinking, we all laughed at it, and got back to partying for the weekend.

The End

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