I'm not a special kid. But I'm still different in the way that I'm unique. Everyone is. And I believe that everyone should be able to make their own decisions, live their life the way they want to. But people's thoughts differ, and for some, it's hard to accept those who are just a little bit new to what they're used to. And..I think about that. About life. A lot. I guess that's what makes me abnormal for my age. Or it's just that the people that surround me don't worry about that. They go with what they've got. But my questions, is what got this started. And so, I present to you...my ponderings.

Somehow similar to a previous story I'd done named "Letters To A Wandering Soul", this one goes along the same lines but I guess I'm sick of hiding behind the facade that I put up. Recently, writing's been my only way of letting out my emotions, whether it be in a diary, journal or just the back of my French class notes.

Usually, I tear it in frustration after writing it all out, sick of not being able to tell anyone. But that's when I realized it. I might not have someone to tell in reality, but I could always share what I'm feeling through writing on here.

It doesn't matter to me whether whoever reads this understands or not. But just the thought of someone else having the simple gist of my thoughts; knowing that there's the slightest chance that someone might have read this is enough to lessen the invisible weight I sometimes feel lingering on my shoulder.

Sure, I might be an optimist. And I might talk a lot, be friendly. Random craziness is a part of my personality and I'm considered to be eccentric. But that doesn't necessarily mean that people get me or understand me. I don't try to set high expectations either because then I might be pushing away what's right in front of me, not appreciating what I have.

But I guess deep inside, I always will want a twin soul to be able to know exactly what I'm thinking, to see past my acts, to get the lamest jokes I crack even. But though I might not have that now, I won't stop hoping.

Author guidance for This work

I really don't know where I'm going with this. But what I say on here is my own thoughts and views on things. If it offends you in any way, I apologize but like I said in the summary; everyone's different.

Inspired by a conversation with Hirinjay, I started this. And it does follow the same theme as Letters To A Wandering Soul. But it's going to be much all over the place than that. So don't fall off once you get on the ride.

"It's easy for me to ignore the people who don't like me because I'm an optimist."

"But then you're living a lie."

"Nope, I'm not. It only means I'm trying to look past the things that might put me down and choose to live my life the way I want to. Not because so and so said that I'm a freak. Everyone has their own philosophy. We just have to respect it."

updated Sep 20 '11 by Trish