Redemption Once Again
Here I am, truly alone in this fight.
Guilt-stricken, fearful of love.
Hope in humanity long gone.
My fellow warriors struck down.
My eyes are dry, the tears will not come.
Mouth is shut closed, love forbids me to ask for help.
Condemnation for weakness.
Oh freedom where have you gone?
I tasted it once, freedom that is.
It was beautiful, simply stunning.
I fought for as long as I could on my own.
But in the end I can't continue.
Looking to old paths, looking to old people.
Things and people who defined me.
Looking back sorrowfully, wishing for things long gone.
Pushing away those I have now, all in the name of mourning.
My arms are flawless for the moment.
Resolve to fight this battle till the end is dying.
I deserve self-condemnation.
I deserve to anguish my mind with what could have been.
The fake smiles require too much effort.
Tears stain my cheeks readily.
People worry about me, I push them away.
They leave, and I wonder why.
Realizing how far I have gone down this path yet again.
This hole I have dug, sinking deeper and deeper down.
Is horrifying, shaking me to the core.
I have been blinded, and now I see.
I cry for help, I long for salvation.
I try to free myself, I try to make myself redeemable.
Shake myself free from my self-made chains.
I can't do it on my own.
Surrender is asked, pride to be laid down.
I shakily raise my hands, asking once again to be delivered.
Asking for help yet another time.
For salvation to be given for the hundreth and one time.
It is given, I am set straight.
Dusted off, lovingly given a kiss on the cheek.
The kiss of freedom once again.
Sent on my way again, praying that I will continue down the right road.
So I will march.
I pray for the correct course.
I ask for guidance.
I will learn, I will learn from my mistakes.