Labelled, Boxed, Packed Away.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"No, it doesn't hurt that you've basically said that I'm ugly and don't have any talent. Hell yeah*, I'm not human, you can't hurt me."

The sarcasm that I feel but say without the right tone.

Sometimes you have to desensitize yourself. Life isn't fair. That's what everybody keeps saying, until it all sounds as high-pitched and repetitive as a religious chant. I'm just a person, a loner known only by labels like 'she' and 'her.'

I Am Kathy.

I am not one of the millions of clones that you can easily label and pack away, into boxes marked 'Emo, Goth, Scene, Freak, Depressed, Normal, Good, Bad.'  I am the Uncategorised. Everything I call myself seems to begin with 'un' or 'non' or 'anti.' Does calling myself Anti-Establishment or Non-Conformist mean that I'm just throwing myself under a label and then denying it?

I don't know anymore. I say that I'll always be myself, but am I building that phrase up into an alternative persona. Is me really the unconfident girl who isn't even brave enough to feel hatred? The girl that I killed long ago? Have I killed my real self without even realising it. I don't want her to come back, but she worms her way into my mind at the wrong time, telling me that I am just another person.

*I use "Hell Yeah" A lot, sometimes in sarcasm, more times to hide sarcasm.


The End

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