Tension of OppositesMature

Sometimes I just can't make up my mind.

Sometimes I feel like life, existence, is pointless.  Wouldn't it be easier to just not do anything?  Why bother trying to survive if everything dies in the end anyways?

Why try to be good?  Why try to be nice and kind to others?  No one else is.  Who cares?  This society is all about "Me Me Me".  Why shouldn't I say "Me, Me, Me," too?

Sometimes, I just hate everyone, and I don't want anyone to say anything to me. 

And other times, I feel like life is precious, and I just want everyone to see things the way I see them...  At least acknowledge other possibilities--maybe not agree with me exactly.

Sometimes, I'm able to catch a fleeting glimpse of the beauty in humanity.   And these moments, they drive me crazy.

I hunger for someone who listens to me the way I listen to them, with undivided attention.  

I was once told that I was the only thing that stopped my friend from committing suicide, because I take him seriously when no one else will.

Well, good for him, and I couldn't be more happy that he's still here.  

But he holds me in such high regards, that I think he must be confused.  I'm not a good person.  I should be hanged for the thoughts I think sometimes.  

I have plenty of friends, but no one really listens to me the way I listen to him when he needs me to.  I feel so god damn alone.  

I just don't know where to turn anymore...

They say treat others how you wish to be treated?  Well, I try to treat others like princes.  And I'm still just the servant who dotes on everything they say, sometimes.

Maybe I shouldn't want to be recognizable.  Maybe I don't even deserve to be.  Selfish people shouldn't prosper...  How could I ever be the exception?   

The End

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