Am I a bad person for not knowing what to believe?
Does God exist? Is the Bible true? Should I trust Him?
Why did he create us? Was he bored? Did he create us like a story book? Writing up famine, poverty, and greed, destined to be our cruel antagonists? Does he perhaps think it's entertaining to watch people struggle?
Is there truly such a thing as Heaven and Hell? Perhaps there is a Heaven, and Earth is the Hell. Have we already died and been sent to our dooms?
And, if the Bible is to be believed, why would God work so hard for our creation, knowing that we'll fail him.
I'm very confused about the Bible. I feel like God is saying, Love and Worship me, or I'll send you to Hell. Accept me as your father, because I created you and I love you, I want to be with you. So do it, or I'll put you in Hell.
That's not right. Just because He created us, does he really have the right to send that message? Here, on Earth, Love and Trust is earned. Any one can gain obedience through fear and intimidation, or even, if they care enough, love and trust. However, to gain true loyalty... That is a two-way street.
Often, I feel as though maybe God is just a kid in a science class, staring down at a cardboard box, hoping his experiment lasts long enough to get the grade. Maybe there's other students with more cardboard Earth projects. Perhaps, two worlds below us, people have tales and four noses. Maybe the sky is orange, and the clouds hang in the sky like big, blue bricks. Maybe the sun is green, and the night sky is violet.
There's so many questions, and not enough answers. Our own Catch 22. In order to have This, you have to get There. But to get There, you have to have This. There simply is no end.