A tale of disgruntled reaper of death

This is script I did for my final play I'm not sure if its good but time had ran out for me and I had writers block.


The tale of a disgruntled soul reaper


Alicia . cho sen wan: a overreacting girl, who is intensely smart.


Nix: A confused slightly disgruntled, reaper of death who makes mistakes all the time.


Lucy: A dead girl who ac-company's nix everywhere. Smarter then Nix


Death: A good boss but is starting to get frustrated with Nix's mistake and comes off as a real harsh being but is really a softy.


Shard: A mysterious being that live in the world of the living in abandoned restuarant




Nix goes to reap the next soul to under world with Lucy, and of course as usual he mixes up the list of names by accident and gets confused and randomly picks a name out of fear that death will punish him severely if he makes another mistake. Poor young Alicia happens to be the victim of Nix's latest mistake. Shortly after Alicia goes to sleep Nix and Lucy slip through his door and reap his soul freaking him out when he see his lifeless body, and he collapses. After Alicia wakes up Nix explains how she is now a dead soul, and take her to the underworld. On their way they meet death who is a pleasant mood and nearly lets Nix slide by without any trouble, reads the death list and gets extremely pissed and lists how many people he has killed by accident and takes his reaper powers away and says he can only get them back if he finds a way to put Alicia soul back in her body.




























Nix walks on to stage


Lucy: Finally Nix I've been waiting for half an hour. How long does it take to put your shoes on?


Nix: I'm sorry while I was tying my shoe's I realized I forgot how to tie them. Then upon remembering how to tie my shoes I also started questioning the meaning of life, which lead to great philosophical questions, and also quantum physics.


Lucy: Or you forgot your list of souls you're in charge of.


Nix: Oh um actually now thinking about it I did forget at the office yesterday.


Lucy face palms, and groans and sighs

Lucy: NIX! Death is going to... To..To

Death walks onto stage, loudly




Death slams the list into Nix's chest. Nix stumbles backwards a few steps.


Nix: Sorry Ma'am.


Death: YOU'RE ALWAYS STINKIN SORRY! Sorry doesn't fix anything, like your mistake back in the sixties in in Dallas with presid...


Nix: I thought we weren't gonna talk about that!


Lucy: You Killed J...


Death: The only good thing was killing that one Austrian.... dictator..... guy. You the guy with weird moustache.


Nix: You mean Charlie Chaplin?


Death: No his name started with an H or something.


Nix: I still don't get it.


Death: Forget it, but everything else you've totally screwed up. Anyways Nix sorry I lost it on you but your disorganization, and mistakes are beginning to get serious. Like what if you reap the soul of someone destined to make world peace, and have hamburger helper that doesn't taste like crap.


Lucy: Pffft like hamburger helper could actually taste good.


Nix: Hey I like hamburger helper.




Death: Shutup, and get back to work!


Nix: Yes sir, I mean Ma'am!


Lucy: Yes Ma'am.


Lights go and a new set is made

Nix and Lucy stumble onto stage

Nix falls forwards throwing his list into the air.

Nix: Ouch stupid gateway, can never summon it properly.


Lucy : Oh my god Nix look, your list is everywhere.


Nix: Aw crap, I'm so dead, I should defect, or something.


Lucy: Nix you died a thousand years ago, you can't die again.


Nix: Oh right, this can be fixed. I just need to put this back in the right order.


They start grabbing the paper

Lucy: hey are sure that one goes first?


Nix: has to be Dick Cheney is on the list.


Lucy: Oh yeah that makes sense. So who is first ?


Nix: Hang on need my glasses, stupid small print.


Lucy: Just hand it over. (Rips the list from his hand) Alicia cho sen wan, her house address is Main street 12345.


Nix: Main street! That could be anywhere! Almost every City every town, even the rural villages have a street called freaking Main street.


Lucy: Oh don't be a baby you can use the gateway stupid. Sometime I wonder why I'm not the reaper here.


Nix: Right right, sorry that's the second time today, I must be getting too old for this.


Lucy: YOU DON'T AGE! You're just being moronic because Death scared the crap out of you! You're being such a coward!


Nix: Now your your just being mean. (He says with little emotion) Lets go.


Lights go out and Alicia's bedroom is setup




Nix and Alicia walk through a Alicia's bedroom door.


Nix: That was a better passage through the gateway, I mean usually I get really hungry, and confused about everything, and plus the motion sickness is a real killer.


Lucy: Shhh, focus on your job, don't wake her up that would make things so awkward.


Nix: Right right, hey I know what i'm doing right?

Trips down and hits the ground with a thump, Lucy freezes waiting for Alicia to wake up but instead she snores.


Lucy: phew, too close.


Nix gets up and places both hands on Alicia's back. Alicia roll out of bed, and wakes up screaming.




Lucy: What the hell.






Nix: Alicia!




Nix: Wellll...(pause) to put it plainly....(pause) Your dead, dead like your like you pet hamster Snowball.



Nix holds his head.

Nix: Could you shut the hell up for ten seconds, it feels like you shoved a train in my ear.


Lucy:Nix don't be so mean the girl just died, the least you could do is show her kindness.


Alicia: Is that my body?


She pokes her body then screams like bloody murder then faints.

Nix: Thank you divine powers, my ears have been saved. Lets go home mission accomplished .




Lucy: I have to agree but I think we could have been a bit better to breaking it to her that she is dead.


Nix: I honestly don't see where I went wrong, anyways lets go home I want to get home in time to cook my hamburger helper and watch Scrubs at 5 o clock.


Lucy: Lame.


Lights go out and on in empty somewhat dim lit set with them dragging Alicia.


Nix: I think we did well today.


Death begins walking on stage behind them


Nix: despite dropping the list and putting it back together.


Lucy: Um Nix?


Nix: What?


Death: You dropped the list! And you had to put it back together! You Idiot! Your supposed to come back to the world of the dead if that happens. Who do you have here? You better hope its Justin Bieber.


Lucy: we're so screwed.


Nix: Who's Justi-


Death: You moronic toad shut up, you annoying tick.


Nix:Yes sir.


Death: Shut up, and its ma'am to you.


Nix:Yes Ma'am.


Death: Would you shut up.


Hits Nix on the face with a prop, Nix falls to the ground


Death: Okay now that I have your attention. I will put this simply, and elegantly. Your fired, and along with that all your powers as a reaper of death, unless by some miracle you can bring this young lady back to life which is impossible because your aren't a reaper of life. I will take my leave now Nix.


Death begins to walk off stage







Nix: I can't be fired, this is all I have known for the last thousand years.


Lucy: Um Nix, we have a problem.


Nix: What am I going to do?


Lucy: Nix you do realize we are between worlds, and you no longer have the power to make a passage between them?


Nix: Huh?


Lucy: Look around Nix can't you see we're goin....


Nix: Oh crap.


Lucy: What? did you just come to a realization we'r.....?


Nix: Yes I have, I forgot to buy hamburger helper last night.


Lucy: No your moron, look over there don't you see the world of the living, and the world of the dead are slowly disappearing.


Nix:Oh. We so doomed. Lucy wake up Alex , i mean , screw what ever her name is.




Alicia: Morning, why is it so dark this morning mom?


Lucy: I'm not your mom, and its because it just is now shut up. Nix what do we do?


Alicia: Who are you?


Nix: Erm didn't think about that, just run. I guess.


Alicia: Seriously where are we and who are you people. You people are kidnappers are you.


Lucy: If it was that obvious why did I let you make that decision.




Nix: hey! Shutup!


Lucy: and start moving!



Everyone moves moves to stage right, and lights dim, and go back up on a brighter lighting with an empty restaurant look.


Alicia: Where did you Kidnappers take me too!


Lucy: How the hell am I supposed to know, and we are not kidnappers.


Nix: What are those.


Lucy: Stop being so stupid Nix!


Alicia: So thats your name.


Nix: You didn't know! I'm the greatest reaper of death of all time!


Lucy: And that's why you were fired right?


Nix: Oh. Crap, what am I going to do?


Alicia: huh I'm confused. Am I dead or you guys about to take my soul or something?


Lucy: Don't you remember seeing us in your bedroom when you screamed to your bloody heart's content? Anyways it doesn't matter our problem is we're stuck somewhere that looks like the real world ,and we are dead souls stuck in a restaurant that appears to have no exits.


Shard comes up from behind something.


Shard: I have visitors, what a surprise.


Nix: Holy crap who are you!?


Shard: calm yourself. I assure you I will get around to you. But at the moment I am the one asking the questions. First what brings you to my humble abode?


Nix: Well I am as you probably heard by now a reaper of death, well used to anyways. And when I lost my powers as one we're trapped between worlds we ran to the closest opening, and here we are.


Shard: I see, guess death had the last straw with you then.


Lucy: You've heard of Nix?


Shard: ( Laughs) I'm the one asking questions, but yes, yes I have. Now for my next question which I feel cannot be answered by the three of you. What are you planning to do since the three of you are obviously dead souls, and this is the world of the living, so your souls could dissipate at anytime?





Lucy: We don't have plan as far as I know unless genius over here knows how put Alicia back in her body.


Alicia: So I am dead.


Nix: Nope not a plan, guess we'll just have to dissipate because I don't know where a soul portal is.


Alicia: Is there any known science between a soul and its body?


Nix: Yes but lets put it this way you would need a tremendous amount of force to reconnect a soul to body at this point of time, and it would be easier if your body was trying to be brought back to life by doctors. But judging how long we were between worlds your body is probably in the coroners office.


Lucy: Yup, basic rules behind the soul.


Nix: So smarts won't get us or you out of this one.


Shard: That is indeed right. Now Nix I already know your predicament please don't ask how I know but I do. Now some one like myself can help you to a degree but I cannot put Alicia in her body for you. Before you ask it is possible. I will show you how after you ask a question each. Yours first Nix. I am Shard, I live here and my hobbies consist on eavesdropping on the world. Lucy any questions?


Lucy: What kind of soul are you?


Shard: Not dead nor living, confusing that. Alicia?


Alicia: I don't know what to ask this discovery of two worlds and souls open a wide region for science. One question is not enough. I don't know where to begin. Not fair can I have two?


Shard: No, I hate questions.


Alicia: erm its a waste of a question but if the answer is in my favour...... Is it possible for a living soul to make equipment able to study these different worlds, and have it believable to the rest of the living world?


Shard: Yes, but have fun trying to engineering the equipment dear girl. Alright all of you have your answers now lets travel in time and space.


Nix: Time?


Shard: Yes time you imbecile I was not referring to something trivial.


Lights go out and back on in Alicia's room








Alicia: I know my body is back here but what are we going to do?


Shard: Just grabbing it we still we have some travelling to do


Nix: Where to?


Lucy: And how did we get here?


Shard: Enough questions, just wait and see.


Lights flash, and goes up on an empty stage with everybody in the middle.


Nix: Ow! Where did my left hand go!


Shard: The process has begun with the oldest soul. Time is running thin. Lucy this is we you come in. Take this, and get me water,a muffin.


Lucy,and Alicia: A muffin?


Shard: No questions! Yes a muffin, I'm hungry. Anyways then we need the mask of a soul reaper of death, I'm sure you know where one is, and the shard of a reaper of life, that shall be hard to retrieve. Lastly Alicia what is your most treasured possession?


Alicia: Its hard to say! I mean I love my post of brad pit, but then there is johnny depp. Wait, wait i can't forget my just bieber shrine!


Lucy: disgusting.


Nix: Who's tha..


Alicia: Oh there is my plushy too. Wait wait I got it now, my shoes from Ferrogamo's.


Lucy: Seriously a pair of shoes?


Alicia: Now that I think about its a fight between my mechanical pencil and scientific calculator.


Lucy: At least the shoes where cooler.


Alicia: Yeah its my calculator.


Lucy: thank you I was worried you were going to take out a list of everything you owned.


Shard: Alright now with the item I gave you are capable of going anywhere in the world or worlds. Just be careful you soul is dissipating so make it quick. You don't want to lose any part of you body like Nix he might not have long, but he must be present when we begin this procedure.


Lucy: Alright I have got it, I will be quick as soon as possible.


Nix: Yeah, just get here before my left arm is gone I lost my wrist a few moments ago, and it hurts like hell!


Lucy: whatever be back soon.


Lights go out. And go up on Alicia's room, a store counter, Nix's soul reaper mask, and a person dressed in white getting his but kicked by Lucy, and she takes a shard off him.

Lights go out and back on the empty stage with everyone except death in the middle. Lucy walks on.


Lucy: Got everything, including your dumb calculator.


Nix: Hey you got back her just in time for me to lose my elbow. OW! Ow. This hurts.


Shard: He is quite the whinger.


Nix: Shut up! How would you like to lose your limb?


Alicia: Hello can we hurry this up?


Shard: Silence all of you! We now begin this Nix put the mask back on, Lucy give me the muffin. Oh its chocolate chip my fave how did you know?


Lucy: Oh just get on with it!


Shard: Alright now Alicia swallow the shard, and hold the calculator above your head look it


Alicia: Why?


Shard: Trust me there is no science behind this, just look do it or else.


Alicia: Or else what.


Shard: So you really want a reason? Here, because a giant black monster will eat you okay? now just do it. Now put your hand on her back like when you removed her soul, and imagine that you are taking in her essence and its pouring out your big toe.


Nix: Okay?


Alicia, and Lucy: This is ridiculous.


Shard: call it what you will trust me it will all work out.











Lights go out then really bright. Then the lights go out with a bang. Lights go back on slowly from middle where Nix and Lucy stand to a desk where Death is sitting


Death: Huh? What are you two doing here?


Nix: I don't know, we kinda appeared here.


Death: I know that but why are you here?


Lucy: There is no reason Ma'am we just.... Appeared... here.


Nix: Wait death, you fired me so aren't you supposed be yelling at me to get out?


Death: What are talking about Nix? Get out of here, and stop fooling around and get you stinkin paperwork done!


Throws a stack of paper at them, both Lucy, and Nix run off. Lights go out, and back on at two park benches where Nix hunches over a stack of papers.


Lucy: Nix what do you think happened. Do you think Alicia is back in her body? Did we even meet Alicia, and what about the Shard person? I can't make sense of it all. Death doesn't even remember firing you? Was it a dream? Or what?


Nix: I don't know but I would like to say its behind me, and I still have my left arm so everything is all good.


Lucy: I guess so, but something is still bothering me, come on lets go get you some hamburger helper.


Nix: Sweet.


Both begin to exit stage left. As they do Shard enters behind them



The end




The End

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