"A day in the life of the pool police"
Listening to old people’s rants about the decline of society, seeing fat hairy men hitting on little girls and bratty rich kids making double flips and splashes to impress their bored girlfriends. I mean they must really be running out of material, I can’t even write, I’m a lifeguard, and a crammy one at that.
I didn’t follow any school or course for this, I rolled into it. Not that I wanted it in the first place, I mean I hate people. I hate kids, I hate emaciated old people in red bathing suits or shorts. Anyway, I won’t be telling you about my past and how I failed upwards from a caddy to a lifeguard, from the greens to the blues. The Carmon Gazette wanted a piece on the heroic daily happenings of the pool police and that’s what I’ll be giving them. No leaves covering the gentle areas though, no classy nudes.
Fat men in bikini’s.