A tribute to a friend of mine. One hundred reasons to give her my heart - one hundred reasons she will never know.
100. Your Smile
You have a way of lifting up my heart, inflating my soul – just with that smile of yours. That’s the smile that brought me back from the very edge. When I remembered it, I knew I did not want to wait to see such a beautiful smile, a perfect face, in Heaven or hell. I knew I had to see it again. Every day would be a blessing if only you smiled. You can smile through anything, and it never changes. It’s there, like an arm on a shoulder, a protective shield. You dance, and you cry, and always you smile. Why can’t I smile like that? Why can’t I make magic with just a turn of my lips? You always wonder why people compliment your smile. You say it’s just a smile, and it is. But it’s beautifully simple – completely real, completely raw. It’s a brand in my heart, but the sting is bearable.
It was one of my bad days. You’ve seen the type – when my brain spins around in my skull and I’m going to say anything and everything I get an urge to. I had done it, I had told you. You saved my life and didn’t know a thing about it, but I told you on that day. I said thank you. I told you in writing that no one has ever done for me what you did, no one does for me what you do. I told you all that and more, and you did not speak to me for the rest of the day. I felt like killing myself all over. Your silence was devastating. For hours, you were dead to me. I felt cold, broken inside. Had I done something wrong? And then it was done, and when I felt as though I might explode, you looked at me. Still you said nothing. I read it in your eyes that you didn’t yet understand how much you meant to me, how much I owed you. You looked at me and smiled, and I knew everything would be alright.