What you need to know about being a horrible boyfriendMature

Wondering how to look good and be the best in finding the perfect mate that will spend the rest of your life with you? Vanish your worries by reading this excellent guide bringing the worst of you out for your girlfriend or for the world to see. From acting like a complete jerk to set everyone's (and the audiences') buttons off, this guide will help any depressed singles with their love crisis by following 10 simple rules.

The 21st century. A new era. The age of technology. A struggling economy. Finding the right girlfriend to spend the rest of your life with you forever so that you won't have to listen to the government's complain about a declining birth rate in the country.

Do you have trouble attracting or seeking a girlfriend to spend time with? Are you jealous of everyone else with their own Miss Perfect but you? Scratching your heads in wonder why bastard boyfriends are able to attract most (we wished we could say all, but we don't like to exaggerate our results. It's called basic modesty) girls just by acting like, well, jerks?

Fear not, single man. This guide has it all covered!

By following these ten easy rules being a boyfriend so horrible and abusive that even any girl with some common sense will fall head over heels with you. We would like to show you some results of how several single men took this guide to heart and are happily spending great time with their love of their lives. Unfortunately, due to limited printing available as of this writing, we can't put it down at the moment. But enough of this idle chit-chat. Let's get on to business! 

*To the literal minded: If you haven't realized by now this guide is a satire. Take this entire story with a grain of salt. Believing what you read in this guide is like believing pigs can fly.

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