Ze Memoirs of Queen FuFu! (See Spot Run)

Me and my two friends being completely retarded.

Once upon a time, there was a creature so rare that it knew kungfu! But not just any creature, this happened to be a queen! ‘Queen FuFu’, as she was so fondly called by her subjects, was scaley from her terrible psoriases. Queen FuFu was a bit crazy… At night she would spaz out by hopping on one foot and twitching, then every 23 minutes… EXACTLY , she would scream, “I LOVE LAKROOLABOONNA !”
Her subjects loved her even when she flapped her imaginary wings in their faces; everyone in her castle sneezed non-stop because of the imaginary feathers up their nostrils. And being that allergy medicine was illegal, all her subjects resulted in wiping whatever was dripping or dropping from their body cavities on the person the the right of them. There were to never, Never, NEVER wipe it on the person to the left of them, for it had the penalty of death, if they dared. But not just any death. First, they were to be stripped of their manditory peacock costumes and barbed in pressed sheets of llama dung.

Secondly, their eyelids were sawed off with a screw driver and sown to their nipples with a spoon. And Lastly, they were set on fire. Unfortunately, the smell was so gloirous people always tried to make the nerds wipe it to the left, a tradition they named… ‘LARRY’. You always could hear those wonderful screams coming from the cellar; Queen FuFu would be giddy with laughter, and would add an extra twitch here and there.
But then, one day [cue climatic background music] their (manically) beloved (slightly crazed) Queen FuFu (serial killer) turned white. Her eyes glazed over, and no matter how hard she stared at the ultraviolet rays of the dun, she couldn’t regain her sight.
Now that she couldn’t see she decided she would find her way around by shaking her booty at everyine, (So now every 23 minutes she would scream, “AARG! DON ’T TOUCH MY BOOTY !”) Most of the time after the people, not willingly I might add, touched her bootay, she stabbed them in the foot with a…... KNIFE ….. DUH !

But not just any knife! The handle was woven out of wonderous green fur off her back, and the blade was carved out of gourmet jellybeans.
Then one day, she sat on her beautiful blade of booties. WHile she was ranting and raving she decided that the blade of booties should be made into their national weapon. “HUZZAH!” She exclaimed wile finding a bat in the cave… (If you know what I mean…) Nudges person next to you while winking
No one would ever know, well until that fateful day, that if you mix cocoa powder with her blade of booties, that it becomes a quite powerful bomb….a bomb so strong that it blew up….. a blade of grass. Her subjects were so overwhelmed by joy, they had …Pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers. Hearts, stars, and horseshoes. Clovers and blue
moons. Pots of gold and rainbows. And me red
balloons… in their eyes, that they had found this valuable weapon of MINIMAL DESTRUCTION !!

The next day, Queen FuFu (being blind) tripped over a dead squrriel onto the patch of scorched rocks where the lonely blad of grass used to grow, and cracked open her skull. Everyone started laughing, for they thought the whole incident was immensly funny. So they took video recording deviced and then put the videos on youtube for all to see… And can you believe, they got over a hundred million hits… Just five hots under “Quarter Indian” video. Queen FuFu now resides with chipmunks, who slowly and deliberately eat her flesh, they LOVE live flesh.. (Eye twitch o.O)

And the chipmunks lived heavily Ever After

(And became uncannily fat, with obese tongues. So much so, that it interfered with their marital relations… you know… in the wood shavings with their meatballs and stolen pizza from Little Caesar’s. And you can’t forget the CHEEZY BREAD ! (You are like a breadstick….you got no rhythm!) )

The End…

The End

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