A forgotten love's spirit teaches Julia how to once again live the life she had once shied away from
You only live once.
He told her those very words the last time he saw her, and then never again. She smiled in the golden light streaming through the kichen window as she remembered his smile, the twinkle in his eye bright. He would never age. In the time she hadn't seen him she was sure he's still be the same. People with that much spirit could never die out.
She wiped her hands on a dish towel and began to make the bed. Dust flitted into the air, and she remembered his contagous excitement. There was always something he had to do, right then and there and together they would laugh and drop all expectations to live a little. SHe sighed. She wished thier lives hadn't traveled down the paths they did, but things occur and changes happen, and she was scared to believe other than things had happened the way they aught to be.
She would have liked to say, and with that she closed that chapter of her life and moved on, but like a good book, the favorite pages, after being open so long never quite close all the way. She found herself wandering to the things she could have done differently. How life would have been altered if, well, they had been different.
Her elbow knocked a book off her organized desk, and her heart jumped. She hadn't been suprised in so long. Tight and orderly, she was in control of every aspect of her life, and yet for the first time in a long time, something had occured without her consent. He lived by spontinuety. His moto was: do something that scares you every day. You can't die until you've lived. Might as well live it all.
And her heart ached. She couldn't control the pain that seized up inside of her, and she collapsed on the floor holding her chest. SHe was afraid to move. She didn't want the pain to come back. THen, unsure where it came from, an anger tital wave seized her entire being, and she hated her wretched life with a passion so strong she wanted to end it right then and there. Without another thought, she raced from the bedroom and out the stairs outside, and up the ladder onto the roof. SHe looked out over the meadow, and beyond that the busy city. Her toes curled over the edge of the roof, and the rage drained out of her, for beneath her was an old rusty bathtub.
This was a tub he had given her. It seemed like such a silly gift, but old and useless, she had kept it hidden away. She had forgotten about it until now, heart hammering, it lay beneath her. She remembered why he had given it to her. He had joked about her begining to loose her inner fire, and had given her a bathtub. She had assumed the obvious answer: water drenches fire. He wasn't so shallow. He told her it wasn't to drench her fire, it was to fuel it. This shower was meant o go outside. In the open. In plain sight. She laughed at the time and told him it was crazy. Now it made perfect sence. Not just anyone had the guts to shower naked. Not just anyone had passion flowing from every pore that that could run and present their living being to the world. This was an empowering task not just anyone could take part in. Challenge accpepted, she climbed down from the roof and began to plot how to live her life.