You've lived a life that was fast and rough. You've had a great time and corupted most people you came into contact with

"...I can't lie. That's the truth of it all." You announce, looking downwards. Before this day, you were never flustered and no one intimidated you. But this man, "Simon," as Anita said, is different somehow. He looks normal enough, wearing a normal gray business suit and straight, slicked-back brown hair. In fact, he looks like someone who should be intimidated by you. But an air of importance seems to hang around him, and so you found yourself compelled to tell the truth.

Simon frowns, appraising you. His face betrays nothing; anyone else would have thought him a businessman deciding on a sale. "So... You call yourself a villain?" he asks. You're taken aback. His voice, unlike his clothes, is remarkable indeed. The closest thing to compare it to is the chiming of bells, but his voice is not that of a woman. It carries masculinity within it as well.

"Er..." You fidget, glancing around the room. Like Simon, the room appears unremarkable. The walls, ceiling, and floor are all the same: a bland white tile. The desk at which both you and he are sitting is the only bit of furniture. It reminds you of a place where someone might interrogate a criminal. "I... I am, yes. In all honesty, though, I don't regret a bit!" Your voice is defensive. "I'd do it all over again! You can't make me change faces."

"I did not plan to, Darren Garland." replies Simon evenly, "I only wanted your opinion. I'm afraid this was but a test, and though I can't say I'm happy with the result, you passed."

You blink. The idea that he knows your name doesn't surprise you; it's no more surreal than anything else that has happened today. But... if it was a test, how could admitting your evil allow you to pass? You let out a sudden gasp as the thought dawns on you. Could this "Simon" be the devil!?

"I know what you're thinking, Darren, and you're incorrect," chimes Simon, leafing through a pile of folders that seem to have magically appeared on his desk. "I am neither Satan nor God... nor Osiris, Buddha, or any other being of the afterlife that you might believe in. As I'm sure you have already heard, I am but Simon. You passed because you told the truth. It is not evil that we wish to banish here, but danger. One who cannot even lie to me honestly can have no chance posing a threat to this universe." He stops, and looks up to give you a sly smile. You feel slightly insulted, but before you can comment, he takes your hand (a rather uncomfortable feeling) and guides you as one might guide a child out the door. "Now, I am busy. You must run along now."

You stand outside the door, bewildered, as this Simon character slams the door on your face. Now that you are so close, you can read the tiny writing on the door: "Simon, PhD, Guide to the Afterlife."

"So, how did it go?" You jump, but then see that it was only Anita. She's giving you that same smile that Simon did. You're beginning to hate it.  "Did you pass?"

"I... think so, yes..." You reply, trying to look defiant. You must have been unsuccessful, however, as she only giggles.

"Good. I thought you wouldn't. You seemed to lie a lot when I knew you. After all, you told me you would never let anything happen to me. I believe we all know how incorrect that was?"

You search her face for any sign of hatred, but there is none. You shake your head in disgust; nothing seems to make sense! "So," you finally reply, "At least tell me one thing, Anita..."

The End

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