Breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out.
The air scrapes up my throat and hisses through my teeth. I clench and unclench my fists. Nothing can distract me from the face, the face burned into my mind.
Eyes wild, deranged.
Screaming mouth, an open gash in a face blank of any humane emotion.
Clutching at thin air, arms being pinned behind back, struggling, pulling, desperate...
Desperate to reach me.
With that final smack of realisation I jolt back to the present. An unimaginabley loud sound, like a waterfall or fast flowing river bursts through my eardrums and makes me quiver.
Talking. The voices, mixed together in a never ending swirl of noise. It batters me, the noise. It carries me round and around, swirling my thoughts into a mass of confusion.
Through all the noise, I see one thing. That face, glaring at me, but restrained behind the Plexi Glass of a police car window.
i don't even notice the cars, the hundreds upon thousands of people, the helicopters and news crews, teams of photographers and paramedics, screaming sirens and crying children.
Why are they so angry?
Why are they so upset.
Grief now pours out of everyone around me. I feel their pity; I wallow in it. It closes in on me, choking. I cough, and the crowd draws in breath.
The paramedics are running. I hadn't noticed, but they've been running as if through custard towards me, in slow motion. I realise that my mind has gone, and time is blurring, slowing, changing.
They're urgent. I want to tell them not to worry.
Couldn't be better.
I force out a word, but it bubbles in my mouth and spits itself out. "Don't-"
Something warm and runny trickles down my chin. My finger dabs it, inspecting. When my eyes see the red on my fingertip, nothing registers.
Red. Huh. How weird.
Not until I glance down, and somuchredspillingeverywhereallovermethereisredredredredred
And I feel the pain. It feels like nothing I could ever describe. Burning, stabbing, firey, never ending pain twists and roars in my abdomen.
I've been shot.