Safe to say after I wrote the email came a lot of crying. I cried for what seemed to me, days. I kept to my room emerging quietly and solemnly for meals like a depressed gremlin. My friend, Fria rang me and texted me constantly for three days but I ignored her. I wanted nothing more than to be alone. Even my dad gave up after standing outside my bedroom door for three hours one night threatening that he would kick down the door and force me outside. It didn't work, he had sighed whole-heartedly and quietly said goodnight before giving up entirely and going to bed. Each morning he would knock quietly on my door as a good morning greeting and left me to my own devices sending my brother, Gabe up at lunch and dinner to make sure I was still alive. 

During my three days of solitude and isolation I did a lot of thinking- the conveyor belt of questions often popped up resulting in an infuriating bout of rage or a deep and sorrowful cry which often had no time limit. I slept little having horrible dreams in which Will's face was laughing at me and would then morph into a hideous demon who continued to laugh cruelly at me while I felt trapped under a weight of no defined description. It felt like the gremlin of my emotions was sitting on top of me and holding me down and more than worse I woke up in a cold sweat.

I suppose I should tell you how the gremlin came to be shouldn't I? Yeah, that would make sense.

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