Yoga & tooting in public places

Over the weekend I took a short evaluation of my ‘program’ and decided it was time to try something new this month. After all who doesn’t need to learn something new and new workouts open up new motivation wells from which I can take from. That in addition to getting out of my routine and being excited about a new experience really had me worked up and looking forward to first day of bikram yoga yesterday. Yoga helps you pay attention to your posture, breathing and encourage relaxation.
Bikram yoga is yoga that is performed in a heated room and that encourages you to sweat. The benefits of said sweating are tenfold, from what I understand. Your body burns fat more effectively; The heat produces a stretch that allows for greater range of movement in joints & muscles, and other supporting structures of the body, Capillaries dilate in the heat; more effectively oxygenating the tissues, muscles, glands and organs and helping in the removal of waste products and it’s a good cardio workout in addition to boosting your metabolism.

So I went to class and noted it was warmish, took off my socks, grabbed my matt and found a good spot in the front of the class. I say hello to people as they walk in there is a bit of small talk and the instructor comes in on the nose at 6am. She begins by introducing herself, notes that there are a few new people in her class, asks if we have done Yoga in any form and then says, “Now I want to be sure to let everyone in here know, that during this very rigorous workout, in the heat, your body will work at getting rid of waste. It is not uncommon to pass gas, so please, feel free to do what you need to and hold your positions”.

Wait. What? I was thinking. Do I ask her to repeat that? I look around at the one other new comer I had identified during the last few minutes and she sort of shrugs and smirks.

Class begins, standing deep breathing, holding pose, I can do this, piece of cake I am thinking. Half moon pose, awkward pose, eagle pose, balancing stick pose and then it happened. Someone tooted in the back of the class, not just a toot, but a loud, obvious, “I am not hiding I am cleansing type of proud toot-age.”

Being drenched in sweat by this time and realizing this is a workout I decide to allow the adult sense in me to let it pass – no pun intended. Until, the person beside me tooted. This was not something I was accustomed to – free and open tooting in public. It was as if we were just one big happy tooting family.

The new girl began to giggle, looked at me and looked away – red faced. That was all it took, Balancing Separate Leg Stretching Pose, Breath, hold…. I begin to not only pose, but hold back the giggles. Another toot announced itself somewhere to the right of me and I was near crying trying to hold back my giggles. The other girl excused herself – which in hindsight is what I should have done had I been better hydrated and in my right mind. As it was, I had somehow turned into a middle school girl and was incapable of controlling my impulses. Triangle Pose, Standing Separate Leg Head to Knee Pose and what is worse, I began to feel the need to toot. As I concentrated on finding my inner peaceful place that would allow me to finish this class with composure of some kind, the next pose announced was the Wind Removing Pose. I was now squeezing my butt cheeks together in an effort not to release so freely as everyone else.

The girl who had to leave had tears streaming down her face now, I had to look to be sure it was not from pain, but from holding back the giggles, an older woman nearby her had taken notice of her and was also beginning to giggle and the instructor had us holding the Wind Removing Pose, and my butt cheeks could hold no longer and I tooted! In public and burst into my own giggles as tears streamed down my face. No I could not hold the pose!

Before long over half the class was giggling like school kids and the class ended on that happy note. Who would a thought? Indeed!
What a way to begin the week, toots in public and a classic case of school girl giggles shared among strangers. Life is good.

The End

1 comment about this story Feed