Two gay monkeys go into a strip bar and order two cups of camel poop. Curious, I did the same. It was the most rewarding experience ever.It's like if Jay Leno, Chris Farley, Rosie O'Donnell, and two other fat guys all shared a toilet and never flushed it, then gave it to the god of paperweights as a gift! Due to my reaction to the drink, one of the monkeys came over and sucked on my banana, which I disagreed with, it's my banana, I should be the only one allowed to suck it! So I yanked on my banana really really hard, and to my credit, I slapped myself in the face. Soon after, the other monkey cut the lips off the first monkey, which also cut off the tip of my banana, gave me a paper clip, and forced me to leave.
While I was walking, several of the strippers caught up with me, each of them with a big juicy pair of beautiful melons. So naturally, I grabbed my slightly abused banana and twirled it betweens the melons. The strippers seemed to be attracted, so attracted that grabbed onto my cherries and squeezed them until and cried. It has been a very unhappy day so far. Until R. Kelly, some random black asshole, Kanye West, some random black asshole, and Megaman, a pony who's butthole looks like it's made of sandpaper, all came over too me on pogo sticks, grabbed me by my pinky toe, and took me to Halloweentown inside the movie Nightmare Before Christmas.
NEVER AGAIN!!! There was a flying dog, a giant skeleton, a woman who sewd her own arm, a guy who could remove his face, a guy who had two faces, and A GIANT GREEN TALKING PILLOW!!!!! And what's more, they could all sing!! As soon as I walked in someone set up a guillotine and had Santa Claus strapped to a table, WHILE SINGING CHRISTMAS SONGS!!!!!! Can you really imagine someone going into a guillotine, and the people watching are all chanting "Let it snow let it snow let it snow!" HOLY HELL!!! And once again, I shit my pants.
I was forced out of the movie without my pants, so I was walking home commando. I was just about to get there, until I saw Jason Derulo saying "Whatcha say? Whatcha say?" over and over again. For a few moments I danced, for it was a free concert, then I noticed in the corner of my eye, Iyaz, with a remote control hitting the replay button repeatedly screaming "I should've hit number one you son of a-!!!!!!!!!" Now I'm sure the next words would be "splendid woman who makes cupcakes for rapists" but he didn't say them. Why? Because the Donut Mafia!!! They came crashing down and started beating him up, and all me and Jason did thew whole time was take bites out of the tired mafia members.
After we got out of the asylum, me and Jason went our seperate ways, which was good, because the security guards who saw us escape seemed more interested in him. My guess was it was for his singing. I finally got into my house and recounted all that happened today. Poop, fruit, more fruit, more fruit (my poor little cherries :( ), pogo sticks, MINDFUCK MOVIE THAT STOLE MY PANTS!!!!!!!!! And then two new guys who sing went to war.
"Wow, so this is what happens when you suck a cow nipple!"