Seriously, I have no idea
I lost the game.
I was walking to the store and then I saw a badger go down the street on roller skates. Finding it sexy, I got in a handstand and started doing the chicken dance. While I was doing this couple on a date walked by and said, "Hey faggot what the fuck are you doing?" Puzzled, I responded. "I'm doing the chicken dance in a handstand dumbass" This led to me being pushed over and punched, until a furious gang of mimes came along and trapped the mean people in a box. I thanked the mimes, but they didn't say anything in return, so I flipped them off and continued walking.
Just then, a beam of light came down from the sky. I thought I was being abducted by aliens, but instead it was just 10 million fireflies looking to beat up Owl City. Remembering how bad it is to die from insects, I grabbed a cow and started flinging raw beef at the fireflies. This made them angry at me, and forced me to run to get help from the donut mafia. When I got to the hideout of the donut mafia, I noticed that not a single donut was there, only crumbs on the floor. I guessed they were having a chicken fight and someone got hurt, so I just let myself in.
One trip to the mental hospital later, I was unable to find the donut mafia, but I was awarded a bottle of ritalin. The fireflies seem to be pant shopping at the moment, so I went to buy a fire flower. When I got to the store and asked for one, they laughed at me and kicked me in the ass until I left the store. This left me high and I fell down a sewer pipe and somehow ended up in starfox. It was a scary experience, having forest creatures and evil space robots firing deadly lasers at me, and that's when I shit my pants. I kid you not, it was very embarrassing, so embarrassing I didn't notice when Marth and Olimar came out and started playing hopscotch, leaving mr. game and watch to hit pieces of bacon with a hammer and freezing them. Depressed, due to loss of bacon, I took the magical ocarina back to camelot, and ended up in the movie 300.
I had a good time in 300, they forced me into a funny costume, gave me a big shield, a small sword, and told me to kill persians. So I went directly to the nearest electronics department and stabbed every cartridge of Prince of Persia, making king Leonoodles facepalm. After my trip down the pit of death, I managed to come back to reality my swallowing the bottle of ritalin. Then I walked back to Pee-wee's Playhouse, where I was renting at the time, jumped in my bed and came to a conclusion.
" Badgers suck balls."