worse than the dog

an evil stepmother destroys a young girl's spirit

When life was good, it was just us, me, my older sister and my dad...

We rented a house in the northern suburbs, we had fantastic next door
neighbors who would play with my older sister and I, a playful germansheperd
dog, a loving father we lived together pretty happily, with the usual sibling quarrels
and harmless childish blackmail. Daddy used to be in the military, a soldier. He
was a good man but when he was angry at me or my sister he would smack us,
sometimes he would use his belt strap... but this is, or rather was, the way of
parents and discipline.

But everything changed when she came onto the scene. She
was 5' 4", petite, had bleached blonde hair that just passed her shoulders.
She had three children, was very nice. But slowly she started picking on, and
being nice to my older sister. At this time i was only 7 and my sister 13. but
at this time nothing seemed out of the norm. Soon daddy and her bought a house,
a nice spacious, 4 bedroom house. it was quite large, it had an in ground pool,
bar in the main living room, a garage. large backyard. By then daddy’s
girlfriend had already fooled us into believing what unhygienic, nasty lying demons
my sister and I were. My sister and I shared a bedroom, and daddy’s
girlfriend's two children, who were still living with her, got their own
bedrooms. No big deal, after all my sister and I were the youngest and of both
the same gender. We still attended the school near the house we rented,
somewhat 2-3k from our new house.

AT first she picked on me, then my sister then me. but my sister copped only
the smaller portion of the step moms wrath, even if the woman had a habit of
deciding which one of us she felt like being nice to for a couple of days. First
she was pushed out of the house, into the shed, exiled from the house unless
permitted for meals, bathing. then they borrowed granny and pa's caravan. They
parked it in the front yard. The same rules applied as with the shed, only
groceries were bought for her to make her own meals. My sister finally got fed
up of being treated like a bum, so she left to live with our aunt....

...now I was left to feel the ultimate of it....

Things were going great between that woman and I, and if things were good
for her and I, then things were good for daddy and I. soon I found it harder to
talk to her, to maintain a simple conversation with her. that woman seemed to
enjoy completely withdrawing herself to my sister and I, and then she would
blame my sibling and I for not putting an effort into being ‘normal'

she was not normal... i was not allowed to shower or bath with the door
closed, it always had to be as open as possible, sometimes she would watch me,
scrutinizing me… if I did something wrong I would get hit, not smacked hit, by
both of them. If I was in the pool with daddy’s girlfriends kids, they would
hold me under until I was on the brink of blackness, they would ignore my
clawing at them while they laughed at my being weak. It was only on rare
occasions did I get tv, internet, fast food, only if I was at a friend’s would
these treats come about.

It wasn’t long for me to
completely hate them all.

One day, my dad asked to me to
go into the pool and guide the cleaner thing on the bottom, but I was terrified
of it, so he got angry and I got even more scared of him Janine came out to go
be lovey-dovey with dad, I was told to sit in a corner in side, and I was lead
there by them both. Dad stood close to the corner and I was scared he would
strike me if I went to the corner so I froze up. They yelled at me, dad started
towards me and I backed away, they herded me into my room where my dad was
shouting at the top of his lungs at me, my eyes stung from all the tears that
had been falling from them. Janine pushed me so I fell to my bed. Her strike to
my leg broke her nail and gashed my leg. Daddy picked me up by my collar and
slammed my head into the wall, then threw me out the front door. I as left in a

It wasn’t long before I was exiled from my own home. I was
left out side when there were or wasn’t any one home. I soon learned how to
break into my own home, only to obtain the food I was not receiving. First through
the dog door, then through my bedroom window, I had numerous ways of breaking
and entering my own home…. Too much for a 11 year old to know. Soon it was the midyear
school holidays and I was really looking forward to them for a change. I was
going to nanny and pa’s house on the goldcoast. I was so excited, I would
actually be given the privilege to close my bedroom door when I changed, to
shower in peace. But as usual my two weeks came to an end quicker than anyone
thought possible. When it was time to leave for the airport, I considered
running away so I would miss my plane…

When I got home it was only 3pm. My dad blatantly commented
on the weight I had put on, from over enjoying all those treats. I had put on
ten kilos. I tried saying hello to Janine, in hopes that we could get off to a
fresh start but before I knew it I was stripped down to my bare underwear. I was
standing beside the pool, Janine had a camera. By then my dad had gone out to
the garage and was completely unawares of this disgusting photo shoot. I was
forced to pose beside the pool and on the pool side lounge while Janine took
photos of my almost naked body. She made horrible, spirit breaking remarks
about how fat I had become, but with Janine’s special diet of one meal a day of
a potato and beans, being left in the back yard like a mutt, with nothing to do
but move, it wasn’t long until I became on the verge of underweight. She kept
me believing I was fat, none of my friends could change my mental image.

For years I was treated like a dog, and if Janine felt like
it she would be nice to me and treat me like I was part of the family. All this
time I considered death to be a relief to my misery.

One day after an incredibly rough night, I was in my
backyard as was normal, Janine was home, but acted like I didn’t exist. I went
in to the garage and I grabbed a long coil of rope. I went to the ornamental
vase. It was large and heavy. It came up to my chest and I could just move it. I
dragged it to the edge of the pool at the deep end. I tied the rope around the
handles of the pot. I tied the ends of th rope around my ankles, around my arms
as best as possible. Said a silent prayer for Janine, her children my sibling,
my grandparents… and despite the pain and terror my daddy submitted me to, I said
a pray for him.

Tears pushed their way out of my eyes

I pushed the pot in. It dragged me under the water. I waited
saying prayers for my family. My lungs started to burn, they felt like needles
were stabbing them, over and over again. I saw spots. My world spun, I struggled
for air.  I clamped my eyes closed as I left
this painful world.

The End

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