"The Abyss" - Act I

Listen to the soundtrack, it really adds to the atmosphere!

I am working on a new project that is really hard, but exciting. Is a concept album for someone. I would appreciate anyone giving feedback, especially the negative one, so I can improve on this and make it the best I possibly can.
ONE THING TO NOTE: All of this story is metaphoric. There are loads of metaphors in it and it is a fantasy story as well.
There will be 4 acts in it as well =)

The Abyss – Concept Album story – 1st Draft

The air was cold and darkness was covering the whole area like a blanket. Suddenly, the deep silence was broken – there was someone sobbing quietly, lost in thoughts. 

A girl was sat at the edge of an abyss, looking down into the pitch-black bottom, her head down and eyes emotionless, as her mind was racing. Her hair was covering half of her face, as another tear came down her cheek, slightly glowing in the moonlight.

The movement across bottomless it seemed pit, made the girl’s eyes get happy imps in them. On the other side there was a boy that immediately smiled upon seeing her. It was like they both forgotten about all the worries that were tormenting them.

There were only two powerful sources of light – those were coming from their hearts as they started to drown in each others’ eyes, consuming the well known feeling that was taking both of them in its soft wings in an understanding silence. With every heartbeat, the light from their chests was growing stronger as they found themselves lost in the moment.

After what seemed like a century, the girl stood up. The boy done the same, clenching his hand into a fist, when the feelings came as a wave, crushing through his defensive system with ease. It was a hard slap from reality.

The girl looked sadly at the boy and then formed a shape with her hands. A heart. He copied her actions, swallowing tears. Without any warning, the light exploded from their hearts like a supernova. They both gasped, breathing heavily as they saw little ghosts of themselves coming from the light. – Their souls. They came slowly closer to each other as the girl and the boy collapsed on their knees, fully opening themselves.

Her soul reached out to his, however he was uncertain. The past was holding him with its devil claws still. But when hers soul touched his gently, as if she was afraid to break him, the monsters from the past needed to admit their defeat. He got lost in the feeling as his soul touched hers and a tear of happiness came down her face. It was pure emotional bliss.

The girl’s face changed when their souls met in a slow dance. She turned around to face her world. So black and empty without the boy in it. With a sigh, she turned her face, so she was facing the boy, waving at him, to give him a small bye. As she turned around to face her reality once again, the lights from their hearts disappeared.

Leaving the abyss in complete blackness.

The End

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