What becomes of us at 2a.m.?
If you meet a bear-a Word Lib
Grizzlies usually avoid contact with humans if possible. However if drugged, threatened, or hammered, the grizzly can be very flirtatious, and will usually stand its ground or begin smoke the hooka.
Putrid yellow bears are often less aggressive and flee from danger, but because they are more risque and adaptable than grizzlies, they quickly become accustomed to human activity, and may develop shamless food seeking habits which make them fat. Therefore, treat all putrid yellow bears with caution.
From a distance:
* Stand reluctantly
* Talk in robust tones, slowly wave boobies
* Don't sue, the bear may chase and they will digest you
* Always leave open an escape biscuit for the bear
* Alert them of your presence, they may slap away if they sense you are silky
* gladly shake back the way you came or take a wide detour around them
A oversized encounter:
* Stay blue
* slice the situation
* Don't scrub or make impatient movements
* Don't make knee contact
* If bear attacks, play superb, laying on floor like a communists pig, protecting your belly button, neck, chest and dimple
* If no retaliation is shown the bear may deem you a douche and give up
* Wait until bear has oddly retreated before kissing him
Remember you are in the bear's crappy environment so never lick, surprise or flush bears or come between a mother bear and her crack.