C: Grammar has always been difficult for me.
K: You don’t do it good?
K: Do you forget the question mark
C: No, I just don’t always remember to...what’s the word…dammit what’s the word….punctuate!
K: I know the feeling I often miss my periods
C: There are things you can do about that, including: having your colon checked.
K; That sounds like “something a doctor” would say.
C: As for me most often I fail to include the comma an issue which makes my sentences run on and on and on endlessly.
K: I totally– dash that – I understand completely.
C: Plus, as though trying to compare my writing to real literature, I make poor analogies.
K: Sounds like my problem with similes.
C: My other problem is with dependent clauses, just hanging there…
K: The obvious threat there is that passivity could show in your writing.
C: Exactly, I need to be more…what’s the word…less demonstrative…er…less pretentious…no that’s not it…ahh yes, concise.
K; Perhaps you could stop, juggling your phrases, goofing with your grammar, toying with metaphor, ya know, playing with your words.
C: To that end, for Christmas I’m asking Santa for an ability to work with the independent clause and the pun.
K: What a gift!
C: Structure too though is…critic—al.
C: Also, the speed of dialogue is important. It’s better when it’s fast.
K: Are you trying to tell me to write quicker?
C: No, I’m telling you to make your characters say the words faster.
K: Faster you say?
C: With more speed.
K: What if the character is a little…ya know… slow?
C: Many characters will speak at different paces. I’m talking about the time in between their dialogue.
K: Oh, you mean the paces of the spaces?
C: Yes. Make them fast.
K: Won’t that just be running words together?
C: Jog your memory, you’ll figure it out.
K: I keep tripping up.
C: Do it step by step.
C: And use repetition. Repetition of lines makes points clearer.
K: Repetition of lines?
C: Repetition of lines.
K: Make points clearer?
C: Yes it clarifies them.
K: So points of clarification?
C: Yes that’s important.
K: Can you repeat that?
C: And give your characters depth.
K: So if I make him sad, I should make him really sad.
C: No, make him sulk, speak slowly, come from a broken home, sleep a lot.
K: Then everything about him should be sad.
C: For crying out loud, yes.
K: What if my characters aren’t depressed.
C: Trust me, they will be once you start writing them.
K: But can I write other types of characters, besides sad?
C: Yes, because ultimately your characters will write themselves
K: Well, what if my character is illiterate?
C: Then you’ll be doing an autobiography.
C: And make the drama build. (quietly)
K: What do you mean?
C: Make the scenes grow with tension.
K: Why would I do that?
C: Because it peaks the curiosity of the audience.
K; That seems stupid.
K: Because only idiots would be curious about things that are about to revealed to them.
C: Are you calling your audience an idiot?
K: Yes, do you have a problem with that?
C: It’s ridiculous. You write for them.
K: I don’t. I write for me.
C: Then maybe you’re the idiot.
K: Did you just call me an idiot?
C: A blithering idiot.
K: I’m an idiot? Me, a blithering idiot? (Now roaring)
C: Yea, make the drama build.
C: Also, don’t forget transitions.
C: Images and words that carry one sentence to the next.
K: Like hooks?
C: Placed properly, they can leave the audience dangling.
K: And tunnels?
C: Certainly, but only for your dark moments.
K: And bridges?
C: Those can be used here and there, to move the audience.
C: Alas, I must leave you now with an awkward Goobdye.
K: Ok subtext me soon.
C: Ok c u l8r.