[Harry and the gang are in library, frantically flipping through books.]
Hermione:I cannot (s) believe you spent all that time sunbathing instead of preparing for the next task.
Harry:Woah, woah, woah, (Harry places a hand on her shoulder) It takes time to look this good.
Ron:But how did you (s) work out the clue, Harry?
[Harry and Hermione drop what they are doing, and stare at Ron.]
Hermione:He hasn’t, Ron. That’s we why are (s) here.
Ron:(s away) … oh.
Harry:But we do know that (s) I must be underwater for a while.
Ron:Right. (s) And we’ve solved the mystery once again yay!
[Harry and Hermione look at each other, and then back at Ron.]
Hermione:Are you (s) alright, Ron?
Ron:Well, I took some stuff out of Snape’s pockets and then I ate them.
Hermione:RON, YOU IDIOT.
Ron:(s) EVERYONE’S YELLING SO I WANT TO YELL TOO.
Ron:DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THOUGHT YOU JUST SAID?
Ron:OH NO THIS IS BAD VERY BAD HOW AM I-
[Hermione and Harry press a cloth to Ron’s mouth. Ron inhales deeply and passes out.]
[Fred and George enter.]
Fred:McGonagall’s looking for Weasley and Granger.
George:And said not to worry, they’ll be in no danger.
Harry:But Ron’s (s) unconscious.
Fred:That does not matter.
George:He’s as mad as a hatter.
Hermione:(s) I’ll carry him.
[Hermione, carrying Ron, Fred and George leave the library leaving Harry alone.]
Harry:Right, I (s) must find a spell to-
[Harry collapses, and falls asleep. Behind him stands Madame Pince, holding a large book.]
Pince:That’ll teach you to talk in my library.
[Pince wanders off. Harry snores. Dramatic music.]
[In the staffroom. Moody and McGonagall are chatting over tea.]
Moody:… and then he had this zipper on his forehead, right, so he opened it and voila! Standing in front of me is a-
[There is a knock on the door.]
Draco:You wanted me, sir?
Moody:Yes, that’s right, I need you to, uh, (searches around the room frantically) find out what this does.
[Moody reaches into his pocket and takes out a strange lump of metal. He throws the object at Draco, who catches it.]
Draco:You can rely (s) on me, sir!
[Draco begins to examine the object.]
Moody:(loudly) NOW, I WONDER HOW HARRY IS EVER GOING TO SURVIVE THE SECOND TASK BECAUSE IT IS MOSTLY UNDERWATER.
McGonagall:I personally hope he drowns (sips tea). One less paper I need to mark.
Moody:(loudly) IF I WAS HIM, I WOULD USE GILLYWEED, WHICH CAN BE FOUND EASILY IF YOU KNOW WHERE TO LOOK.
McGonagall:Alastor, are you alright?
Moody:(loudly) WHY, IF YOU JUST TOLD A HOUSE ELF, THEY WOULD KNOW WHAT TO DO.
Draco:(drops object) I must (s) summon Dobby!
[Draco rushes out.]
McGonagall:What was all that?
Moody:Why, whatever do you mean? (sips tea)
[Harry is rushing through the halls of Hogwarts.]
Harry:Oh, bollocks, the task is meant to start in seven minutes how am I going to get there on time?
[Harry dodges some Hufflepuffs, who call out “HEY!”]
Harry:I hope this Gillyweed Dobby gave me works.
[Harry reaches the shore of the lake, gasping for breath. The other three champions are already there, stretching.]
Bagman:All right there, Harry?
[Harry can’t breathe, so he doesn’t reply.]
[Bagman takes a deep breath.]
Bagman:Sonorus. (Begins to shout) WELCOME, TO THE SECOND TASK! MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOUR. 3, 2, 1, GO!
[A cannon soundsand Krum, Fleur and Cedric leap into the water.]
[Harry wades into the water. He eats the gillyweed.]
Harry:That’s weird, I feel fi-
[Harry screams and falls into the water, clutching his neck. Everyone gasps.]
[Draco and the gang are with the spectators, examining the lake.]
Goyle:Well, I’m (s) bored.
Draco:But, but what if (s) he’s truly dead?
Goyle:I don’t think so, no one seems worried.
[Draco hits Goyle in the face.]
Draco:THAT’S BECAUSE THEY DON’T CARE AS MUCH AS I DO.
Crabbe:I thought we were over this.
[Harry is “underwater”, being half fish. The four people who they must rescue are tied up beside him.]
Harry:OH NO, THEY’RE ALL GOING (s) TO DIE!
[Harry starts to untie all of the knots, but a mermaid approaches him.]
Mermaid:Dude, you’re not meant to do that.
Harry:TRY AND STOP (s) ME.
[The mermaid comes up and starts to hug Harry.]
Harry:What are you- STOP THAT.
Mermaid:Man, you just need love.
Harry:I AM VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.
[Cedric comes along, looking completely normal.]
Harry:(frowns) Cedric, how come you’re alive and not drowning?
Cedric:(smiles) Technically, I don’t need to breathe.
[Cedric smiles at him, grabs Cho and swims off.]
[Krum comes along, half shark.]
Harry:Krum, you need to help me!
[Krum ignores Harry and grabs Hermione, untying her first and carrying her in his arms.]
Harry:KRUM, I AM IN THE EMBRACE OF A MERMAID AND I CANNOT GET OUT.
[Krum eats the mermaid.]
Harry:Well, that was much better. (s) Thanks, Shark Boy!
[Krum swims off.]
Harry:Now back to my first dilemma. (s) Fleur is French, so she probably will never come.
[Cuts to Fleur, on the beach.]
Fleur:Je suis not going swimming dans la lac sans mon Chanel suit!
[Cuts back to Harry.]
[Harry grabs Ron and Fleur’s sister, and starts to swim back to shore.]
Harry:Merlin, you two are so freaking (s) heavy.
[Draco and the gang are still on the shore.]
Crabbe:Draco, get up.
Draco:YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. (s) HE IS DEAD.
Goyle:(s) But what about our feelings?
Draco:What (s) about them?
Crabbe:It pains us (s) so to see you like this.
Goyle:And we only want your (s) true happiness.
Bagman:AND THERE IS POTTER, WITH, WHAT’S THIS? TWO CONTESTANTS!
[Harry appears at the edge, carrying Ron and Fleur’s Sister.]
Harry:Oh. My. God. (collapses).
Fleur:(rushes over) Oh mon Dieu! Tu es tres fort, monsieur.
[Fleur pashes Ron.]
[Hermione comes rushes up.]
Hermione:You did it, Harry. You’ve completed the Second Task!
Harry:(groans) I need medical attention.
Ron:Yeah! (s) Way to go, Harry!
[Harry’s eyes close as he lies there, unmoving. Triumphant music.]
END OF EPISODE THIRTEEN