[Harry and Hermione are at the Three Broomsticks. Harry is “invisible”.]
Hermione:(grumpy) You two are being such (s) babies.
Harry:(s) … How dare you.
[Hagrid and Moody walk past, talking to each other.]
Hermione:Hagrid! Talk some (s) sense into Harry.
Harry:HERMIONE, he can’t (s) see me.
Hermione:Oh yeah, right.
Moody:(s) But I can.
Harry:But (s) how?
Moody:(taps his eye) It’s magical. Well, when I say magical I obviously only mean it in the sense that it has this spell, well not a spell a, uh, whatchamacallit, an adjustment which lets me see through… things.
[Moody glances at Hermione’s shirt nervously.]
Moody:(leans towards Hermione) Have I ever told you about my big, blue-
Hagrid:I dare say, Harry, it has occurred to me that I do have some information of which you would probably like to acquire.
Harry:(s) I’m listening…
Hagrid:(whispers) The demon that you have to face can fly by night and breathe the fiery depths of hell,
Moody:Dragons, my boy! DRAGONS! (takes Harry be the shoulders and shakes him) Oh, I love a good dragon. Nothing beats it! Except, say, a (s to Hermione) time machine that can travel through both time and space?
[Hermione looks worried. Harry gasps.]
Hagrid:Well, farewell my dear child!
[Hagrid and Moody bid the children goodbye and leave.]
Harry:(whispers)What could this mean?
[Moody runs back in.]
Moody:Oh, Harry, good. You haven’t left yet. Just wanted to say, if you ever need some help, I’m your man. Well, technically I’m not a man but that is beside the point. Just think, Harry, what are you good at?
Harry:I make a mean batch of blueberry muffins.
Moody:What? No. Flying. You are good at flying. Well, best be off. And Hermione, (s to Hermione) if you ever need some extra… credit, feel free to see me. (Winks at her.)
[Moody runs off.]
Harry:(s) BUT WHAT COULD HE MEAN?
[Draco and the gang are in the Hogwarts quad, sitting under a tree.]
[Draco and the gang burst into uncontrollable laughter.]
[Harry and Hermione are sitting in a classroom.]
Harry:Hermione, where (s) are we?
Hermione:This is a classroom, (s) Harry.
Harry:Oh, do we still have those?
Hermione:Anyway, I’ve analysed what Moody told you and I think he means that you should use your broom.
Harry:(s) I don’t understand.
Hermione:Just use “accio” to summon your broom to you.
Harry:(s) I don’t understand.
Hermione:Just say “accio broom”.
Harry:(s) I don’t understand.
[Hermione hits him.]
Harry:Oh, now I (s) get it.
Hermione:Now, (s) we train.
[Montage of Harry trying and gradually getting better of casting “accio”, with “Eye of the Tiger” playing in the background.]
Harry:(falls down) Well, I’m exhausted.
Hermione:(s) VICTORY IS ASSURED!
[Draco and the gang are in the Slytherin dorms, painting their nails.]
Goyle:My grandfather just (s) died.
Crabbe:Oh, Greg… (puts hand on Goyle’s shoulder.)
Draco:(s) POTTER STINKS!
[Draco and Crabbe burst into laughter. Goyle looks appalled. Dramatic music.]
[Harry is ambling down the corridor, singing to himself.]
Harry:(singing) I’M SINGING IN THE RAIN, JUST SINGING IN THE-
[Cedric appears out of nowhere and Harry crashes into him.]
Harry:Ow. You’re (s) rock hard. And (s) ice cold.
Cedric:Whatever, twerp. Heard you knew something about the (s) tournament.
Harry:(sassy s) So what if I do?
Cedric:Let me put it this way. You scratch my back, (s) I’ll scratch yours.
Harry:Okay. Because I’m (s) such a nice person, here we go.
[Harry goes on tiptoes and puts his lips close to Cedric’s ear.]
Cedric:Dragons? But- but they are a vampire’s mortal enemy.
Harry:I thought that was werewolves.
Cedric:(s) Everything’s a vampire’s mortal enemy.
[Cedric stalks away, hissing at the sunlight.]
Harry:(s) What a lovely wizard.
[Harry skips away. Dramatic music.]
[Draco and the gang are having lunch in the Great Hall.]
Crabbe:Oh, not fish again.
Goyle:What’s wrong with fish?
Crabbe:I hate fish.
[Draco and Crabbe laugh. Goyle looks pissed. Dramatic music.]
[Harry and the other three champions are sitting in a tent, anxiously awaiting orders.]
Fleur:Ugh, je suis so bored. And vous etes all stupid or something.
Harry:(s) Cedric, how are you?
Cedric:(smiles in a disturbing way) Fine and dandy, like cotton candy.
Harry:Why’s (s) that?
Cedric:I’ve got a secret weapn. BUT I CAN’T TELL YOU.
Cedric:Okay, I’ll tell you anyway. It’s-
[Bagman and Crouch come in.]
Bagman:Right, (s) let’s choose us some dragons.
[There is a pause of silence.]
Bagman:… which none of you knew about.
Champions:(gasps) OH NO, WHAT A SURPRISE!
Bagman:(s) Let’s get choosing.
[Bagman whips out a bag.]
Bagman:(s) Ladies first!
[Fleur reaches into the bag and takes out a slip of paper.]
Fleur:Ze Welsh Green! Merde!
[Krum reaches into the bag and takes out a slip of paper.]
Bagman:Oh, Chinese Fireball! Not bad.
[Cedric reaches into the bag and takes out a slip of paper.]
Cedric:Swedish Short Snout. (shrugs) As long as I still get to suck it’s blood.
Bagman:Well, now you, Harry Potter.
[Harry reaches into the bag and screams.]
Harry:SOMETHING BIT ME!
Bagman:That’d be the Hungarian Horntail, your dragon!
Harry:Huh? But why-
Crouch:We’ve got to go know, Mr Bagman.
Bagman:Right. Well, may the odds be ever in your favour!
[Bagman and Crouch rush off. Harry looks at his hand. Where the dragon has bit him, there is words saying, “YOU ARE MINE”.]
Harry:Oh, for fu-
Cedric:(hits Harry over the head with a pillow) PAY ATTENTION!
Cedric:Me, of course.
[Krum goes out.]
[Fleur goes out.]
[Cedric goes out, leaving Harry all alone. Dramatic music.]
[Draco and the gang are watching the Tournament from the stands.]
Crabbe:HERE HE COMES!
[Harry pops out into the arena. There is an enormous dragon, waiting for him.]
Harry:Uh, um,accio Firebolt™!
[The Firebolt comes out of nowhere and knocks the dragon on the head, where it falls down unconscious. Harry grabs the egg.]
Bagman:CONGRATULATIONS, POTTER! YOU HAVE FINISHED THE FIRST ROUND OF THE TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT!
[Everyone cheers. Harry jumps in the air, looking triumphant. Dramatic music.]
END OF EPISODE ELEVEN