Episode EightMature

Scene 1:

[In the Great Hall, at the Gryffindor table. All the Gryffindors are there, at their table.]

Ron:Did you see that (s) woman?

Harry:Huh?

Ron:(dreamily) The one with those bright blue eyes and the hair looking as if it were spun from the stars themselves…

Harry:(s) Huh?

Ron:I will never ever, (s) EVER find a girl like that a Hogwarts. (He puts his face right next to Hermione’s) NEVER.

[Hermione slaps him. Dramatic music.]

Harry:I don’t know, I think they make them (s) OK at Hogwarts.

[Harry turns to where Cho is sitting and stares at her “romantically”. Dumbledore dances up onto the podium.]

Dumbledore:I have (s) news.

[Dramatic music.]

Scene 2:

[At the Slytherin table. Draco and the gang are staring listlessly at the front.]

Draco:I’M BORED.

Goyle:Shh….

[Dumbledore is at the podium, talking.]

Dumbledore:… and another person who is also here is (s) FILCH. Round of-

Cedric:(offscreen) GET ON WITH IT I HAVE STUFF TO DO.

Draco:(sits up straight) Who was (s) that?

Dumbledore:(flirty s) Of course, Ceddy-kins. (serious s) The Triwizard Tournament is hard. Oh so (s) hard. And whoever chooses to enter, must be awesome.

[The Hall is silent as everyone appears to evaluate themselves from within.]

Dumbledore:(claps hands) But who shall decide this? It’s the (s) GOBLET OF FIRE.

[The Goblet of Fire is revealed. Everyone gasps. Dramatic music.]

Scene 3:

[In the Gryffindor dormitory. Harry and Ron are sitting on a bed, with facemasks and curlers in their hair.]

Ron:I am (s) so excited.

Harry:(s) Me too.

Ron:If only we could enter. How brave and courageous would that be?

Harry:(s) Yeah. But Ron…

Ron:Yes?

Harry:(holds Ron’s hands) I would rather it be me than you.

Ron:Aww… wait. What?

Harry:Shh…

[Harry holds Ron and rocks him gently back and forth. Dramatic music.]

Scene 4:

[In the Great Hall. The Goblet of Fire is in the middle, humming gently. Moody walks in, brandishing his glowing tube.]

Moody:Let’s see…

[Moody circumnavigates the Goblet of Fire, and the rope placed around it.]

Moody:(whistles) Now you, you are beautiful. No really, you are gorgeous. What a lovely piece of work you are. Wouldn’t mind stealing you and travelling around space and time withyou.

[A big blue box VWORPs right next to Moody. It seems to frown at Moody.]

Moody:Oh, I was just- just doing that thing. (Pauses) How’d you get here?

[The big blue box does nothing.]

Moody:Fine, it’s not like I care. Anyway, allons-y!

[Moody points the tube at the rope circle, and it flashes a blue light and makes a sound. The ropes fall apart.]

Moody:(looks at box and grins) Want to know how I did that? Because it’s really quite sim-

Box:(angrily) VWORP.

Moody:(sulkily) But I need to tell someone how clever I am! I need a companion.

Box:(sympathetically) VWORP…

Moody:I know. I’m so lonely.

[The camera zooms out of Moody standing alone in the darkened room. Sad music.]

Scene 5:

[Slytherin dormitories. Draco is in bed, asleep. Crabbe is leaning over him, smiling.]

Draco:(opens eyes) Huh? What’s go- AHHH.

[Draco leaps up, pulling the covers with him.]

Draco:WHAT ARE YOU (s) DOING?

Crabbe:(reaches out hand) Relax, sweetie. This won’t hurt (s) much.

Draco:WEARGUH. (Runs out of the room.)

Crabbe:(cackles to self) And now, for my master plan!

[Dramatic music.]

Scene 6:

[In the Great Hall. At the Gryffindor table. The Goblet of Fire is at the front.]

Ron:I AM SO EXCITED I WET MYSELF A LITTLE.

Hermione:There, there. (Pats Ron on the back.)

Harry:Alright, here we- what’s with the Hufflepuffs?

[The Hufflepuffs all walk in. They are all extremely pale, wearing all black and looking very moodily at everything, i.e. the floor.]

Hermione:Oh, it’s just because of Cedric Diggory they finally have a chance of (s) doing something.

[As if on cue, Cedric comes in being carried by two other Hufflepuffs.]

Ron:AND HOLY CRAP, THERE’S KRUM.

[Krum and the rest of the Durmstrang students are sitting at the Slytherin table. Draco has his hand on Krum’s shoulder and is laughing.]

Ron:OH MY GOD TOTALLY SHIP IT.

[Harry and Hermione exchange glances.]

Harry:Emergency chloroform?

Hermione:Emergency chloroform.

Ron:DO YOU THINK I COULD GET HIM TO SAY SOMETHING FOR MY VLOG BECAUSE I AM-

[Hermione puts a cloth on Ron’s mouth and he passes out on the table. Dumbledore ambles in.]

Dumbledore:(s) The time has come.

[Dramatic music. The Goblet lights up. Dumbledore looks at the speech cards he has prepared.]

Dumbledore:The first contestant is… (s) Viktor Krum!

[Everyone claps. Krum waddles to the front and grunts.]

Dumbledore:The second contestant is… (s) Fleur Delacour!

[Everyone claps. Fleur sashays to the front, wearing a beret. She begins to smoke.]

Dumbledore:The third contestant is… Cedric Diggory!

[Everyone claps, the Hufflepuffs being the loudest. Cedric makes his way to the front and then proceeds to blow kisses at the crowd. Someone gives him flowers.]

Harry:Hermione, there’s something wrong with their (s) eyes.

Hermione:Whose?

Harry:The Hufflepuffs. It’s, like, yellow or something.

Hermione:Who cares? They’re Hufflepuffs.

Ron:(wakes up and groggily) What’d I miss?

Hermione:(shrugs) Not much.

[They begin to leave the Hall, like everyone else.]

Dumbledore:WAIT! Wait!

[Everyone swivels towards Dumbledore.]

Dumbledore:I have a plot (s) twist.

All:Ooooh…

[Everyone sits back down.]

Dumbledore:(raises arms to forehead) Oh dear! There appears to be a (s) fourth contestant.

All:GASP!

Dumbledore:And the contestant is (s) Harry Potter.

Ron:(s) WHAT?

Harry:I… I don’t understand.

Dumbledore:(gravely) Come here, Harry.

[Harry comes to the front, looking severely confused. Dumbledore puts his hand on his shoulder.]

Harry:(whispers to Dumbledore) You’re hurting me.

Dumbledore:AND HERE ARE THE (s) FOUR CONTESTANTS FOR THE TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT!

[Dramatic music.]

END OF EPISODE EIGHT 

The End

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