[In the Great Hall, at the Gryffindor table. All the Gryffindors are there, at their table.]
Ron:Did you see that (s) woman?
Ron:(dreamily) The one with those bright blue eyes and the hair looking as if it were spun from the stars themselves…
Ron:I will never ever, (s) EVER find a girl like that a Hogwarts. (He puts his face right next to Hermione’s) NEVER.
[Hermione slaps him. Dramatic music.]
Harry:I don’t know, I think they make them (s) OK at Hogwarts.
[Harry turns to where Cho is sitting and stares at her “romantically”. Dumbledore dances up onto the podium.]
Dumbledore:I have (s) news.
[At the Slytherin table. Draco and the gang are staring listlessly at the front.]
[Dumbledore is at the podium, talking.]
Dumbledore:… and another person who is also here is (s) FILCH. Round of-
Cedric:(offscreen) GET ON WITH IT I HAVE STUFF TO DO.
Draco:(sits up straight) Who was (s) that?
Dumbledore:(flirty s) Of course, Ceddy-kins. (serious s) The Triwizard Tournament is hard. Oh so (s) hard. And whoever chooses to enter, must be awesome.
[The Hall is silent as everyone appears to evaluate themselves from within.]
Dumbledore:(claps hands) But who shall decide this? It’s the (s) GOBLET OF FIRE.
[The Goblet of Fire is revealed. Everyone gasps. Dramatic music.]
[In the Gryffindor dormitory. Harry and Ron are sitting on a bed, with facemasks and curlers in their hair.]
Ron:I am (s) so excited.
Harry:(s) Me too.
Ron:If only we could enter. How brave and courageous would that be?
Harry:(s) Yeah. But Ron…
Harry:(holds Ron’s hands) I would rather it be me than you.
Ron:Aww… wait. What?
[Harry holds Ron and rocks him gently back and forth. Dramatic music.]
[In the Great Hall. The Goblet of Fire is in the middle, humming gently. Moody walks in, brandishing his glowing tube.]
[Moody circumnavigates the Goblet of Fire, and the rope placed around it.]
Moody:(whistles) Now you, you are beautiful. No really, you are gorgeous. What a lovely piece of work you are. Wouldn’t mind stealing you and travelling around space and time withyou.
[A big blue box VWORPs right next to Moody. It seems to frown at Moody.]
Moody:Oh, I was just- just doing that thing. (Pauses) How’d you get here?
[The big blue box does nothing.]
Moody:Fine, it’s not like I care. Anyway, allons-y!
[Moody points the tube at the rope circle, and it flashes a blue light and makes a sound. The ropes fall apart.]
Moody:(looks at box and grins) Want to know how I did that? Because it’s really quite sim-
Moody:(sulkily) But I need to tell someone how clever I am! I need a companion.
Moody:I know. I’m so lonely.
[The camera zooms out of Moody standing alone in the darkened room. Sad music.]
[Slytherin dormitories. Draco is in bed, asleep. Crabbe is leaning over him, smiling.]
Draco:(opens eyes) Huh? What’s go- AHHH.
[Draco leaps up, pulling the covers with him.]
Draco:WHAT ARE YOU (s) DOING?
Crabbe:(reaches out hand) Relax, sweetie. This won’t hurt (s) much.
Draco:WEARGUH. (Runs out of the room.)
Crabbe:(cackles to self) And now, for my master plan!
[In the Great Hall. At the Gryffindor table. The Goblet of Fire is at the front.]
Ron:I AM SO EXCITED I WET MYSELF A LITTLE.
Hermione:There, there. (Pats Ron on the back.)
Harry:Alright, here we- what’s with the Hufflepuffs?
[The Hufflepuffs all walk in. They are all extremely pale, wearing all black and looking very moodily at everything, i.e. the floor.]
Hermione:Oh, it’s just because of Cedric Diggory they finally have a chance of (s) doing something.
[As if on cue, Cedric comes in being carried by two other Hufflepuffs.]
Ron:AND HOLY CRAP, THERE’S KRUM.
[Krum and the rest of the Durmstrang students are sitting at the Slytherin table. Draco has his hand on Krum’s shoulder and is laughing.]
Ron:OH MY GOD TOTALLY SHIP IT.
[Harry and Hermione exchange glances.]
Ron:DO YOU THINK I COULD GET HIM TO SAY SOMETHING FOR MY VLOG BECAUSE I AM-
[Hermione puts a cloth on Ron’s mouth and he passes out on the table. Dumbledore ambles in.]
Dumbledore:(s) The time has come.
[Dramatic music. The Goblet lights up. Dumbledore looks at the speech cards he has prepared.]
Dumbledore:The first contestant is… (s) Viktor Krum!
[Everyone claps. Krum waddles to the front and grunts.]
Dumbledore:The second contestant is… (s) Fleur Delacour!
[Everyone claps. Fleur sashays to the front, wearing a beret. She begins to smoke.]
Dumbledore:The third contestant is… Cedric Diggory!
[Everyone claps, the Hufflepuffs being the loudest. Cedric makes his way to the front and then proceeds to blow kisses at the crowd. Someone gives him flowers.]
Harry:Hermione, there’s something wrong with their (s) eyes.
Harry:The Hufflepuffs. It’s, like, yellow or something.
Hermione:Who cares? They’re Hufflepuffs.
Ron:(wakes up and groggily) What’d I miss?
Hermione:(shrugs) Not much.
[They begin to leave the Hall, like everyone else.]
[Everyone swivels towards Dumbledore.]
Dumbledore:I have a plot (s) twist.
[Everyone sits back down.]
Dumbledore:(raises arms to forehead) Oh dear! There appears to be a (s) fourth contestant.
Dumbledore:And the contestant is (s) Harry Potter.
Harry:I… I don’t understand.
Dumbledore:(gravely) Come here, Harry.
[Harry comes to the front, looking severely confused. Dumbledore puts his hand on his shoulder.]
Harry:(whispers to Dumbledore) You’re hurting me.
Dumbledore:AND HERE ARE THE (s) FOUR CONTESTANTS FOR THE TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT!
END OF EPISODE EIGHT