A new year, a new start. Or is it?
[Frank, an old man, is sitting outside a door, listening to mutant-like Voldemort who is sitting with his feet up on a chair, Peter who is standing a little behind him and David Tennant Barty Crouch Jr. who is kneeling beside Voldemort. Spooky music is playing in the background.]
Voldemort:Are all the plans in (s) place?
Peter:Yes, my lord.
Voldemort:And what about (s) you, Barty?
Barty:Well, (breathes out heavily through his mouth) can’t say that I’m not.
Voldemort:But remember, we don’t have a lot oftimeso you can’t golordingover us. Geddit?
Barty:(breaks until hysterical laughter) Good one, that’s a good one.
[Nagini comes out behind Frank, sliding past and startling him.]
Nagini:Dayum gurl! Yo move dat fat ass.
[Nagini slides up to Voldemort.]
Voldemort:What da hell took you so long, nigga?
Nagini:Dis bitch in da hallway be cramping ma style.
Frank:(to himself) Surely he cannot understand that serpents tongue?
Voldemort:Yo, bro, I got ya back. (shouts) PETE!
Peter:(raises hand) Right here.
Voldemort:Oops. Sorry I yelled.
Voldemort:Bring our… visitor in.
[Peter opens the door and brings in Frank by his arm.]
Frank:(shrugs Peter off) YOU! (Points his finger at Voldemort) Feet off the upholstery!
Voldemort:(frowns) Of course, what a reasonable request, I’ll just (s)AVADA KEDAVRA!
[Frank collapses on the floor in a heap. There is a silence of a few seconds.]
Barty:Excellent… wand work, Master.
[The camera does some sort of transition thing. Either it is zoom-y, or flash-y. It goes to Harry in his bed. A moment later, Harry sits up in his bed.]
[Draco and the gang are at Malfoy Manor.]
Draco:A lot (s) happened last year.
Crabbe:… I know.
Goyle: (s) How are we ever going to overcome these barriers?
Draco:I am SO excited for the Quidditch World Cup.
Crabbe:It’s going to be super!
[Harry is in his room, pacing.]
Harry:(s) What should I do? (s) Who can I tell? Hermione will just suggest a trained professional and Ron will ask his dad, a person who has access to resources I can only dream about…
Hedwig:(in her cage and whispers) Foreshadowing…
Harry:(s) Stop hooting ,Hedwig. I know! I’ll shall write to my most trusted friend and advisor, Sirius Black!
[Harry sits down at his desk and he writes the following:]
How are you? I hope you are well. I’m (s) fine.
PS I am actually an extremely confused and vulnerable youth. Please give me some advice.
PPS Particularly about girls.
PPPS And fame.
PPPPS Oh, and no biggie, but I kind of dreamt that Voldemort had returned from the grave and that he was slowly returning to his full power. Weird, right?
[After completing the letter, Harry seals the letter with a kiss and hands it to Hedwig. Dramatic music plays as he stares at Hedwig “flying” off into the sunset.]
[At the Burrow. Ron and his entire family are sitting down for a meal.]
Molly:So, how was everyone’s day?
Percy:Well, actually, I-
George:Perce, just shut the hell up.
Fred:The wall; that is what you are driving me up.
Ginny:(appears to be wearing a mound of rags) Muh hmm…
Arthur:I have (s) news, family.
[Everyone swivels to Arthur.]
Arthur:I have tickets to (pause for EMPHASIS) the Quidditch World Cup.
Arthur:And you can all (s) bring friends.
Bill:I’ll bring Charlie!
Charlie:I’ll bring Bill!
Percy:I’ll bring my growing sense of estrangement from my family.
George:Dibs on Fred.
Fred:Damn, I wanted Dobby instead.
Ron:(to himself) Who should I chose? Harry (s) or Hermione?
Ginny:Can I bring a friend?
[Everyone bursts out laughing. Ginny shrinks away]
Arthur:(still chuckling) Ginny, love, I think Ron will just lend one of his friends to go with you.
Ron:(stands up abruptly and raises hands above his head) SUCCESS!
[Harry is also sitting down to dinner with the Dursleys]
Harry:Sorry I was (s) late.
Vernon:Whatever. What’s for dinner?
Dudley:(sighs) Oh, not again.
[The phone rings.]
Petunia:(stands up) That’ll be the phone.
[She exits. The doorbell rings]
Vernon:I’ll get it.
[Vernon exits. There is a moment of silence.]
Dudley:So, Harry, what were you up to?
Harry:(stares at Dudley) Just talking to my (s) friends.
Dudley:(frowns) I thought you didn’t have any friends.
Harry:Maybe not. (Leans close to Dudley’s ear and whispers) But I have cake.
[Vernon and Petunia come back in. Vernon is holding a letter.]
Vernon:It’s all very odd.
Harry:(s away and whispers) I know.
Petunia:What is it, dear?
Vernon:A letter for us, about Harry.
Harry:(stands up and shouts) WHAT’S SO WEIRD ABOUT THAT, HUH?
Vernon:It’s written in blood.
[At Malfoy Manor. Draco and the gang are all in their sleeping bags, gossiping.]
Crabbe:Have you seen the way she looks at (s) Dean Thomas?
Draco:She is NOT going out with HIM.
Goyle:(s) How do you know?
Draco:(smugly) A gentleman never tells.
Crabbe:(hits Draco with a pillow) PILLOW FIGHT!
[Draco laughs, grab his own pillow and hits Crabbe with his own pillow. They roll about on the floor, giggling. Goyle sits on the sidelines, mouth agape. Friendship music.]
[Back at 4 Privet Drive.]
Harry:(icily) Just because they are poor and can’t afford ink so they have to write in their own blood, do you think it’s okay if you discriminate against them?
Harry:Give me that.
[Harry stands up, snatches the letter and sits back down, all the time glaring at Vernon.]
Dudley:What does it say, cousin?
Harry:I am (s) speechless.
Petunia:(frowns) Oh dear. I think I have medication for that.
Harry:Uncle, can I go to (s) the Quidditch World Cup?
Vernon:… sure. (turns to Petunia) You better hurry up with that medication.
[Petunia nods and walks out of the room.]
[Harry jumps into the air, hands above his head, his expression ecstatic. It freeze frames on that image.]
END OF EPISODE ONE