Have you ever spent time wanting to be that girl, trying to impress that ONE special person? Even though you know it might not work.. You couldn't let an opportunity slide, even if it means being something you are not.
Two hours of piling on eye shadow and blush. I wasn't sure how I looked. I mean, I knew Sean went for the girls who put on way too much make up, and under dressed at my school. What it comes down to, is I STINK at putting on make-up.
My hair was perfectly lifted to the top of my head in ringlets of curls. And my dress that fit like a dream was midnight blue.... But my face would never be gorgeous like the beautiful, yet fake movie stars that you would admire in the magazines. Maybe I looked weird right now with the cake on make up, but it would be worth it if Sean was impressed.
He stared at me in class, and teased me once and a while but he talked to other girls and hit on them constantly, and of course they looked like models. I wasn't dressed like that, but I tried to make a strong impression with the way I looked tonight. it was my one chance to shine.
"Collin is here", called my mom. Collin was my best friend, a guy of course. He didn't have the best home life. His dad slapped him for small mistakes, and verbally bullied him, ever since his mom died from an accident at work. His dad was always nice to my face though. I was the one that loved him him either way though, no matter how he looked.
So I walked down the steps, struggling to keep balance in my high heels. I shuffled out the door to meet him.
"Dang girl, this is a switch", he said in shock, looking me up and down.
"I'm planning to actually go for Sean today", I said blushing, shifting my eyes to the snow that covered my yard. He knew all my secrets, so this was no suprise to him.
"Oh", he said, his eyes looking to the patio that led to his car. We walked in silence, and opened the doors, both squeezing in the back seat..
"How have you been Haylee?" his dad asked in a deep, husky voice.
"Mighty fine", I said in my fake sounded southern accent. His family saw a side of me that not many other people saw. Even though Collin was constantly hit and hurt, his dad was forever grateful to be for being their rock when his wife died. We cracked our usual jokes and arrived at the school.
Walking inside together, shivering in the cold breeze, he held the door for me as I stepped onto the tile floor.
I let Collin go over and hang out with his other guys on the basketball team with him. He promised me we would hang out tonight, but I guess he figured that since this was the NIGHT, that we would hang out later.
Then I saw Sean.... Two girls clung to his arms like usual, as he came over and checked me out. I felt awkward suddenly. I thought the moment at the Christmas dance would feel more magical, not awkward.
"Haylee, whoa there", he said staring at me. Collin saw this, and I could see the tension in his eyes. Him and Sean were never friends at all. While Collin danced, he also kept his gaze on me, as if to watch over me.
"Looking even more hideous than normal eh? Going for a change, that's good. Maybe someday you'll get it right. It's okay sweet Juliet. Romeo kills himself so he doesn't have to look at whatever this is", he said gesturing to my entire get up. The girls giggled. I felt like somebody had taken a knife and injected it into my heart, where my love for him was locked away.
"I-.... I thought you...", I said, stifling my tears, and dropping my head to the ground when I couldn't finish the sentence. The wall that held back my tears was about to break any second.
"LIKED YOU?! Ha! This chick could win comedian of the year!" he said, as the girls both busted out laughing in my face like I was a piece of trash. And right now, I felt like I was trash. He walked away, still laughing with those girls that show nothing but stpidity. Now he went right along with them, in his blue shirt and tie. He did in fact look nice tonight, in his blue shirt and black tie. The girls wore short dresses above their knees. One with strawberry blonde hair wore a sparkly black one, while a sweet brunette one wore a purple one looking like it was made of satin.
I rushed to the bathroom, not caring what anybody said about me. My make up was running down my face like a waterfall along with my tears. The way he teased me.... When he teased and mocked me, I thought he was just joking around. Little did I realize how literal his words were.
Locking myself in a stall, still crying, I stared at my disgusting reflection in the mirror. He was right. i wasn't beautiful or anything. Sure, those girls dressed disgustingly, but they were at least beautiful. I wasn't pretty or popular like any of the other girls. The only friend i had was Collin, but he probably thought the same thing about me. What if our friendship was all a lie? What if Sean thought I was ugly, inside and out? What if he was right? What if my life was a lie? If I was wrong about something as meaningful as this, God knows what else I could screw up.
I stared down at the arm I was Tempted to cut at. No.... I couldn't go back to rehab. Even though it tempted me at times to go back, I knew I couldn't take another second of rehab. So instead I whipped out some Asprins I kept in my purse, and swallowed without any water.
It didn't help. It still hurt. The rejection from Sean, and other tormenting thoughts that overflowed my heart and mind.
"Haylee. I know you're in here", I heard a familiar voice echo out that sounded like Collin's.
"You are in the freaking women's rest room idiot", i muttered after a few moments of silence. He chuckled at this, and knocked at the stall I sat in, that was meant for wheelchairs and stuff like that. But the other ones felt too cramped. And nobody ever came to the restroom during school dances anyway.
"Open up, come on", he said. I kicked off my high heels, finding no further use for them. Then I reluctantly lifted the latch on the door. I let him in. Thank God there was nobody else in here, or we would have gotten in huge trouble for obvious reasons. Locking the door behind us, he studied my tear struck face.
"You know... You're a lot prettier when you smile", he said lifting my chin, and giving me a small smile.
"Shut up, you probably think I'm ugly just like everyone else", I said, holding back more tears. I hate crying in front of people. So I did everything I could to hold them back.
"No... I don't actually. And you know what I did after Sean said that to you? I was eavesdropping if you hadn't noticed", he said raising his eyebrows that hid under his curly brown hair.
"Hmmm?" I asked.
"I gave him a bloody nose", he said, loud and proud.
"Did you really?" I asked, finally smiling slightly, and meeting his eyes. "What did the chaperones say?"
"They are telling the principal. I am getting suspended for a day or two", he said shrugging like it was no big deal. But Collin had never been the violent type.
"Wow. Thanks, you didn't have to do that", I said, my gaze leaving his eyes and to my shoes I kicked off. I couldn't help but grin at this, even though I shouldn't.
"Hey it's the least I can do", he said. He then went over to the sink and wet a paper towel slightly, beginning to wash off my tears and make up. I sat patiently, wanting the caked layers of fakeness to be long gone forever.
"Can I tell you a secret?" he asked, leaning on the bathroom wall that I was leaning on too, after throwing the paper towel away.
"Sure", I said, needing to hear someone else's secrets instead of filling him in on mine. I leaned in so he could whisper into my ear, when instead he cupped my face with his left hands and turned my face towards his. Then he pressed his lips against mine, forming a kiss with more passion, and love that I have ever felt. Of course, I had really never kissed anyone before. But this was surely different than any feeling I had ever felt before in my life.. One of his hands stayed on my head. His fingers began to tangle through my hair, while the other hand wrapped around my waist. I reached my arms and hugged his neck, and the burning sensation never stopped, even after we broke the kiss.
There was silence for a few seconds, but then he said the words i had been waiting my whole life to hear, "Just for the record... I think you look MUCH prettier without any make-up".