Apologies and More
He’d waited for me to say something but I just couldn’t, I didn’t know what to say. So the moment the bell rang, I walked off, leaving him behind. I thought he’d follow me but he didn’t. I turned around one last time and saw him storming off the campus. A pang of extreme guilt hit me as I stumbled over to class.
The others were confused, they bugged me, asking me what had happened between Raphael and I but I refused to tell them. Finally they let it go but I was wondering myself what he must have been doing this whole time. I didn’t want to hurt him, no I never did, but I just didn’t know what to say. It’s not my fault…he just asked me all of a sudden! How could I think up something that fast? Actually I didn’t need to think up anything, I should’ve just told him how I felt. Then setting my mind on things, I decided to this night.
I knocked on his door softly, actually feeling cool about things. I’d rehearsed my ‘speech’ and I knew what I was going to say, and everything would be alright. But when the door opened fast, my mind went blank and I’d forgotten everything I’d planned to say to him. His face was contorted in fury and rage as he glared at me coldly.
“Can we talk for a minute?” I stuttered unsure of what to do.
The next thing I knew, he slammed the door in my face. I blinked stupidly. Did that just happen? Did Raphael really have no courtesy to invite me in? I knocked again this time, more loudly and impatient.
“What?” He hissed, opening the door again.
“I said we need to talk,” I muttered testily.
“Well I’m not going to so just leave.”
He tried closing the door again this time but I stepped into his apartment before he could. He glared daggers into me as I crossed my arms in front of my chest and glowered back. The staring contest didn’t last long though.
I sighed in defeat. “Why are you mad at me?”
In reply he asked a question which left me in silence, “Why did you leave?” And that wasn’t it. “Why did you just walk off to class without answering my question? Did you really hate me that much for kissing you? You could’ve just told me you didn’t like me instead of leaving me confused, hurt, and most of all, angry.” I remained in silence as he went on. “Do you know how furious I was about that? That you just walk off with questions hanging in the air around me? I was going mad, Adriana. What else could I be then angry with you?”
I finally looked up into his stone cold eyes and said the three words I’d been trying to get out of my mouth for the whole day, “I am sorry…I didn’t know how to answer you Raphael. You don’t understand how hard it was for me. I didn’t forget about yesterday night but at the same time, you just asked me that question all of a sudden. And I know I should’ve told you how I really felt but I-”
“How do you feel?” He interrupted me.
That’s when I did something I probably would never have done in my life. I reached up on my feet and planted my lips on his and kissed him softly. After a minute or so, I stepped back.
“I hope that answers your question.”